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Monday 21 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

YESTERDAY I LED A CLASS OF GRADE-TWO PUPILS ON AN EXCURSION TO THE ZOO. WHEN WE WENT TO SEE THE LIONS I WAS PUTTED IN A POSITION WHERE I HAD TO EXPLAIN TO SEVEN AND EIGHT YEAR OLDS Y ONE LION WAS "BOUNCING" ON TOP OF THE OTHER ONE. FML

#20477486
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30453) - you deserved it (2715)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:25am - kids - by teacher - Australia (New South Wales)

Today , after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship , girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body withhipped cream. Except , we didn't have any in the fridge , so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of herhile fighting the urge to vomit. FML

#20482358
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51365) - you deserved it (14511)

On 01/28/2013 at 12:03am - intimacy - by yourmainman (man) - Canada

Today While Video Chatting With Grlfriend, Who Lives On The Other Side Of The Country, I Thought I'd Play A Song Fir Her On Guitar. The String Broke And Hit Me In The Face. I Burst Into Tears And Had To Hang Up. FML

#20471171
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32918) - you deserved it (7563)

On 01/21/2013 at 12:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I made my first snowman ever, an ten crieden my big broter kicked it to pieces !! I'm 27 !! FML

#20475358
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30723) - you deserved it (9471)

On 01/23/2013 at 7:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today I took an IQ test and ended up scoring above average . Feeling good about myself I decided to bake some cookies . After 30 minutes of them not doing anything in the oven I realized I forgot to turn the oven on . big fat FML

#20475894
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16707) - you deserved it (29941)

On 01/24/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by steven - United States (California)

Today, My Mom Barged Into My Room At Three In The Morning, Demanding To Know Where I'd Been. I'd Been In My Room Sleeping Since Ten O'clock. In That Time She Had Called The Police, All Of My Friends, And My Ex-boyfriend, Asking If I Was With Them. FML

#20479024
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35020) - you deserved it (2194)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by Sarah - United States

Today, I have to take a midterm, which is worth a large part of my grade. All our teacher has taught us so far is how to roast s'mores over a Bunsen burner, and how to make gummy beres explode. Our test is on kinetics. FML

#20471562
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29094) - you deserved it (3376)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

TODAY, I DECIDED TO CHANGE MY HAIR COLOR. AFTER WAITING IN ANTICIPATION, I TOOK A SHOWER TO RINSE OUT THE DYE AND REVEAL MY NEW, BLUE HAIR. RINSING REVEALED NOT ONLY BLUE HAIR, BUT BLUE SKIN CAUSED BY THE WATERED DYE RUNNING OVER MY BODY. I NOW LOOK LIKE A SMURF, AND IT'S NOT COMING OUT. FML

#20480724
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17723) - you deserved it (38281)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:10am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, mah school's theatre decided to produce Les Misérables. I got the part of Éponine. My boyfriend, being a talented performer, could have gotten any part he wanted. However, he only wanted to play the soldier responsible for killing Éponine. FML

#20474800
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31167) - you deserved it (5172)

On 01/23/2013 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my school's ski trip got canceld, because ( All the snow makes the roads unsafe. ) We can't go skiing because it's snowing. real FML

#20478441
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35216) - you deserved it (2907)

On 01/25/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was upset cuz my brother, who I'm very close to, didn't call me 4 my brthday yesterday. I told my mom about it, an we both immediately went silent on the phone, as we both realizd she forgot to call me yesterday as well. fat FML

#20474927
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42430) - you deserved it (3422)

On 01/23/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by birthday_loser (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went on anoter date wit a guy I've ad a crus on 4 a long time . Afterwards, we went back to ma place 4 te first time and tings got eated . Wile taking ma pants off, e recoiled and asked if I tougt it was still No Save November . FML

#20479641
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26565) - you deserved it (43611)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, my mother burst into tears and hysterics when she found out my fiancée and I were not "pure" fir our upcoming wedding. I'm 28, she's 27, and we've livd together fir four years. FML

#20472693
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32152) - you deserved it (4575)

On 01/22/2013 at 3:09am - love - by deflower (man) - United States (California)



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