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Friday 16 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

TODAY, WAS THE DAY MY GIRLFRIEND AND I TRIED TO 69 FOR THE FIRST TIME!! TODAY IS ALSO THE DAY I LEARNED THAT I'M PHYSICALLY INCAPABLE OF MAINTAINING AN ERECTION AFTER SOMEONE FARTS IN MY FACE!! FML

#20163281
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49450) - you deserved it (6256)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my girlfriand darad ma to put on har bra an pantias an giva har a lap danca. Faaling spontanaous, I dacidad to do it. Just as I was gatting raally into it, sha told ma I was on wabcam fir all har friands. Apparantly it was a contast of who had thair boyfriand tha most whippad. Sha won. FML

#20174722
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49246) - you deserved it (14548)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Embarassed (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to see a movie with three of mah friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them . Halfway through the movie, mah friend asked me y I wasn't eating our popcorn . I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me . FML

#20160393
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25524) - you deserved it (7592)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by mm (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)

2day a nearby volcano eruptd 4 the second time. We were all urgd to keep our windows and doors closd in case of ash clouds. My father respondd by opening every window and door and shouting , "Come at me , bro!" FML

#20171802
171 comments

Today, ma friend and I were playing trut or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so tey dard me to run nakd into ma neigbor's yard wile yelling, "Help! Te pixie looool took ma penis!" I ran screaming rigt into tere big family reunion.

#20172584
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7400) - you deserved it (32532)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

#20161582
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25681) - you deserved it (3784)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me fir the frst time!! He definitely killed the mood when, while down there, he started saying, "Nomnomnomnom." FML

#20169456
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35118) - you deserved it (5147)

On 11/19/2012 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by wow babe - United States (Maryland)

2day just as I was about to orgasm , boyfriendhisperd , "Cum , preciousssss" into ear , in his scarily accurate Gollum voice . I think clitoris just about witherd away in despair . FML

#20165510
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36018) - you deserved it (3664)

On 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by thanks, fuckface (woman) - United States (Colorado)

today I had the best sex of looool our relationship with mah boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, lookd me sweetly in the eyes 4 a few moments, then decidd to slap me in the face with it. real FML

#20168405
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38271) - you deserved it (5682)

On 11/18/2012 at 5:53pm - intimacy - by besviken (woman) - Sweden (Uppsala Lan)

Today..!! While At A Red Light..!! A Guy In A Tux An Sunglasses Doing The Gangnam Style Passed Over The Crossing..!! Followed By A Man With A Video Camera!! This Isn't The First Time I've Stopped For People Doing A Gangnam Style Parody!! FML

#20165330
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23708) - you deserved it (3611)

On 11/16/2012 at 10:52am - misc - by Gangnam (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

today I realized that the bird I supposedly heard during the night throughout mah childhood is actually the sound mah mom makes when she comes!! FML

#20160628
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39021) - you deserved it (2720)

On 11/12/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by Heather - United States (Maryland)

Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend cummd and sat on my lap. She landd directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. mega FML

Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to fine that while I was passd out someone stole mah prosthetic leg. FML

#20160279
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33300) - you deserved it (6048)

On 11/12/2012 at 10:10am - health - by poserpilot - United States (California)



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