Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Friday 16 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was rejected for a dream photography job that involves travelling all over the world, because according to the interviewer, half the photos in my nature portfolio were "blatantly photoshopped." I guess reality isn't realistic enough for some people. FML

#20175687
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22915) - you deserved it (1453)

On 11/23/2012 at 8:29pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found my sister's wedding book. Inside it was a list of potential grooms; she'd written down all of my ex-boyfriends. And my fiancé. We're getting married in three weeks. FML

#20162804
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18706) - you deserved it (1285)

On 11/14/2012 at 2:46am - love - by he's mine (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, someone posted photos from a party I was at. On each photo I'm posing in with a girl, my hand is not touching her, but is hovering over her like some creepy weirdo loser. My Facebook nickname is now of course "Hover Hand." FML

#20171594
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6436) - you deserved it (17383)

On 11/20/2012 at 9:37pm - misc - by Hover Hand (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend and I cleaned his parents' whole house while they were out, just to be nice. When they came home, they assumed we only did it because we'd made some huge mess that we needed to hide. I'm now banned from their house. FML

#20164583
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20139) - you deserved it (1732)

On 11/15/2012 at 6:34pm - love - by teea (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after working out and feeling really confident, I entered a mixed wrestling competition. My first match was against a woman who was over a foot taller than me. She managed to easily lift me over her head and toss me out of the ring within seconds. Confidence: gone. FML

#20160946
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11251) - you deserved it (4883)

On 11/12/2012 at 8:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my parents kindly told me what they are getting me for my 18th birthday. An eviction notice. FML

#20170511
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18419) - you deserved it (2753)

On 11/20/2012 at 1:47am - kids - by lea5459 - United States (Oregon)

Today, my dog climbed onto the dining room table to eat the cat's food. Then whined until I showed him how to get down. He does this every night. My dog is a genius. FML

#20171812
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14117) - you deserved it (4065)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:00am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, while sitting in a waiting room, a man assured me "The safety's on" after he handed his kid his BB gun. A minute later, I practically had a hole in my foot. FML

#20160435
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16293) - you deserved it (2077)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:12pm - health - by Emily - United States (California)

Today, I was nicknamed "Sandman." Not after the bad-ass Spider Man villain but rather because my personality is so boring it puts people to sleep. FML

#20173388
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15152) - you deserved it (3478)

On 11/22/2012 at 2:25am - misc - by zzz - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I ran into an old friend, and she remarked how she couldn't believe we hadn't seen each other in a year. Except not only did I attend her baby shower a few weeks ago, I spent hundreds of dollars on a unique gift. FML

#20174439
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18121) - you deserved it (1645)

On 11/22/2012 at 9:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home to find that my girlfriend had repainted my bedroom. As she had offered to do it, it shouldn't have been a problem. However, she decided to return the several unopened cans of off-white paint that I'd bought for something "more neutral." Like "Sunset Orange." FML

#20165039
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13915) - you deserved it (1811)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by spaceforrent - United States

Today, I had to stand next to my wife at the supermarket, beet-red and pretending not to exist; about half an hour into our shopping, she completely lost her shit at the advertising on the loudspeaker, turned to another patron, and screamed into his face to shut the fuck up. FML

#20164356
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13120) - you deserved it (1672)

On 11/15/2012 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Today, I told my boss I could handle running the floor buffer. Thirty seconds in, I lost control and became pinned to the wall by its force. In my state of shock and embarrassment, I didn't realize the only thing keeping me trapped was my grip on the accelerator. FML

#20164988
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5013) - you deserved it (13025)

On 11/16/2012 at 12:04am - work - by rubberduck1 - United States (Illinois)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: