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Sunday 5 July 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML

#21435950
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15061) - you deserved it (1964)

On 07/03/2015 at 4:51pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after working alone in a room all day, I let a fart sneak out. Just then, my drop dead gorgeous boss and two new girls walked in. I could literally see them hit the stench and cringe. FML

#21434600
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23363) - you deserved it (3965)

On 06/30/2015 at 10:40pm - work - by stink - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my docile gerbil was startled by a car alarm. He dove into my tank top and bit straight through my nipple. FML

#21434340
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22034) - you deserved it (2235)

On 06/30/2015 at 12:02pm - animals - by piercednipple (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found a friend's gold ring in some grass after a intense 10-minute search in the dark. As well as thanks, I've now got a new nickname. You can now call me Gollum. FML

#21435249
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20260) - you deserved it (2576) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/02/2015 at 12:30am - misc - by Smeagogole - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I quit my job so I wouldn't have to work with this one complete fuck-wit anymore. I told him what I thought of him, and then walked away giving him the middle finger. Turns out, he is a regular customer at my new job. Everyone loves him and thinks he's awesome. FML

#21435181
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20787) - you deserved it (7803)

On 07/02/2015 at 12:49am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was sent to the principal's office because I refused to take my earbuds out. Those "earbuds" are my hearing aids. FML

#21435419
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26493) - you deserved it (1260)

On 07/02/2015 at 2:59pm - misc - by Deaf - United States (California)

Today, a dog bit me on the bus. Instead of apologising, its owner said it was my fault because my hands "must smell of meat". I'm a vegetarian. FML

Today, our family dog died. A couple of hours after the death, my mother-in-law slapped my crying five year old son over the head and told him to "Man up." She totally refuses to admit she did anything wrong. FML

Today, I heard my skinny 14-year-old daughter tell her friend, "Ugh, I wish I had leukemia or something so that I could lose weight." Yes, she actually said that. FML

Today, I spent nearly half an hour looking for my favourite pair of shoes. I ended up getting so pissed off that I accused my boyfriend of stealing them. He then pointed out that I was wearing them. FML

#21434871
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11078) - you deserved it (26987)

On 07/01/2015 at 1:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I sent the girl I like flowers, only to have her later post a picture of them online, saying, "ha when losers send you flowers". FML

#21435086
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24804) - you deserved it (1792)

On 07/01/2015 at 10:04pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I told my parents I'm pregnant. I got a long lecture from my mom about using protection. It would have been fine hearing all that, but I'm turning 22, I've been moved out for a few years, have a full time job with great benefits, and am getting married next summer. FML

#21435425
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18444) - you deserved it (3020)

On 07/02/2015 at 3:16pm - misc - by I'm an adult! - United States (Washington)



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