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Friday 12 February 2016

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I came inside a girl's vagina by accident. Neither one of us wants her to be pregnant, and I had to spend half an hour with her sitting on my face, while I sucked my own cum out of her. I don't even know if this will work. FML

#21524955
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7109) - you deserved it (37895)

On 02/10/2016 at 9:12pm - intimacy - by nickncik (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to give up going to a therapist because it was too expensive and my parents couldn't afford it. Meanwhile, a girl in my class is getting a therapist for her dog. FML

#21524514
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17635) - you deserved it (1333)

On 02/09/2016 at 6:21pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I finally found out why my graphics card in my PC had been overheating recently. My brother disconnected the card's fan because it was too loud when he was gaming. I guess I can always spend another $750. FML

#21524086
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19926) - you deserved it (1577)

On 02/08/2016 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after my fiancé of seven years and the father of our four kids broke up with me, saying he slept with another girl but not to worry, he thought about me the whole time and still wants to marry me one day, it turns out he's moved to another state. FML

Today, I found out that the guy I've been crushing on for months is actually 15 years old. I'm 22. Not only is it gross, but it's also illegal. FML

#21524349
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18889) - you deserved it (3864)

On 02/09/2016 at 8:08am - love - by abnormallyadam - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my aunt informed me that my dad thinks my boyfriend is a loser deadbeat because he hasn't proposed to me after two years of dating and co-habitation. He hasn't asked because I already made it very clear I have no interest in marriage. FML

#21524771
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16834) - you deserved it (3747)

On 02/10/2016 at 10:32am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I made a delicious casserole for dinner. Just as I was about to serve it, a bowl fell from the cupboard above, exploded on the counter and made it rain tiny, sharp glass shards on my food. I can't pick them all out. FML

#21524037
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18092) - you deserved it (1518)

On 02/08/2016 at 12:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - Austria

Today, I tutored a third grade girl after school. She was squirming so much I thought she had to go to the bathroom. Turns out, she was just masturbating on the corner of a school chair. FML

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he wanted to throw me a surprise birthday party. The only issue was the fact I didn't have any friends to make it happen. FML

#21524278
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17908) - you deserved it (1639)

On 02/09/2016 at 12:17am - misc - by nofriends - United States (Idaho)

Today, I took my girlfriend out for a romantic dinner, since we can't see each other this Valentine's Day. Halfway through, my aunt called, telling me my grandma had died. I had to leave because I was crying so much, leaving my girlfriend with a very pricey bill. FML

#21524337
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19920) - you deserved it (3737)

On 02/09/2016 at 6:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got into a car accident. The other driver was going so fast that when we hit, our cars positioned themselves to make it look like it was all my fault. He keeps blaming me for everything and the position of the cars doesn't help. FML

#21524343
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18988) - you deserved it (1214)

On 02/09/2016 at 7:39am - misc - by Anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was called a "Potato" for at least the 30th time by people online for living in Idaho. I've lived here my whole life, I have yet to see a potato farm. None of these people has even left the East Coast. FML

#21524651
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15061) - you deserved it (1757)

On 02/10/2016 at 12:08am - misc - by ApparentlyaPotato (man) - United States (Idaho)



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Friday 12 February 2016

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