Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Wednesday 2 September 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I dyed my hair purple. I came out of the salon and a little girl walked past and said, "Wow, you look like a mermaid!", to which her mother quickly said, "No she doesn't, she looks like her parents don't love her." FML

#21463092
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19195) - you deserved it (3175)

On 08/31/2015 at 6:50pm - kids - by laurencoc - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I saw my ex for the first time since we broke up. We were on a train next to each other for 6 hours, to a festival where our tents were pitched next to each other. We're here for 5 days. FML

#21462968
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19158) - you deserved it (1685)

On 08/31/2015 at 12:27pm - misc - by NoFunForMe - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, my wallet was stolen from my purse at work. When I asked my boss to pull the security tape so we could identify the thief, he said, "I don't think I want to know who it is." FML

#21462817
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21214) - you deserved it (1269)

On 08/31/2015 at 12:50am - work - by bgierczak2 - United States (California)

Today, I put aside my weekend plans to help my aunt with the extermination guy spraying her new house down to prevent cockroaches. After he left, my aunt asked me to go in and turn off the lights because the fumes were very deadly. If I chose not to, she would tell my mom I did nothing all day. FML

#21462982
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18964) - you deserved it (1457)

On 08/31/2015 at 1:17pm - health - by Rakib (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to pull chunks of digested blanket out of my dog's ass because she refuses to listen to me when I tell her not to eat the damn blanket. I can't stop smelling it. FML

Today, I got fired from my childcare job of five years because the other staff weren't as popular with the kids, so they accused me of being "creepy" because the kids all wanted to play a game with me instead of them. FML

#21463241
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17199) - you deserved it (914)

On 09/01/2015 at 12:40am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at soccer, I repeatedly asked my coach for water as I was feeling light headed. His response every time was, "5 more minutes". Eventually, I got so dehydrated that I passed out. The first thing my coach said when I woke up was, "Why didn't you get some water?" FML

#21463299
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17516) - you deserved it (1529)

On 09/01/2015 at 7:07am - health - by Dehydrated - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I thought the girl I was seeing was going to tell me that she loved me. Instead, she told me how she sucked some other guy's dick. FML

#21462923
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20950) - you deserved it (1554)

On 08/31/2015 at 9:16am - intimacy - by FuckThis (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I thought I'd locked my house keys in my locker at work. Not having any replacement nearby, I decided to cut the padlock with the saw of my pocket-knife. It took 20 minutes and four cuts into my hand to destroy the padlock. It took another five seconds to find the missing key in my jacket. FML

#21463029
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7790) - you deserved it (13928)

On 08/31/2015 at 4:01pm - misc - by Lockout (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, it was my birthday and I have no children. My father bluntly says, "Well, I guess if I get any grand-babies out of you now, they will have Down's Syndrome." I just turned 30. FML

#21463070
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16675) - you deserved it (1189)

On 08/31/2015 at 5:46pm - kids - by AM (woman) -

Today, I invited an acquaintance over for tea. When he came in, I told him to make himself at home. He took it literally and now half of my pantry is messed up, my boyfriend's chocolate supply is gone, and I'm pretty sure our couch is broken. Thanks. FML

#21463240
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15115) - you deserved it (2242)

On 09/01/2015 at 12:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my parents made me quit a school team that I absolutely loved, because women "aren't supposed to play sports." and were worried that if I stayed on the team, I'd develop a manly physique. FML

#21463369
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14276) - you deserved it (840)

On 09/01/2015 at 1:02pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, I got a notice from the housing association, if I don't water my lawn I will be charged a $150 fine. Yet if I do water my lawn the city with charge me a $150 fine because of the drought. FML

#21463419
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4549) - you deserved it (240)

On 09/01/2015 at 3:43pm - misc - by really? - United States



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: