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April 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I came out as bisexual to my 17-year-old sister. She was quiet for a second, then told me she knows for sure I only have "girl parts". I had to explain to her the difference between being bi and being a hermaphrodite. FML

#21397585
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27450) - you deserved it (3041)

On 04/21/2015 at 7:00pm - intimacy - by Notthatone (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I stopped to replace a stuffed bear that had fallen from a small memorial for a girl killed nearby. Her mom happened to walk by and thought I was stealing it. She hit me with her purse. FML

#21388908
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30562) - you deserved it (2075)

On 04/06/2015 at 9:51pm - misc - by ouch - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML

#21390086
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26981) - you deserved it (6978)

On 04/08/2015 at 3:56pm - intimacy - by righthook - United States

Today, my husband accidentally erased some pictures from our hard drive. No worries, nothing major: just everything from our wedding and the birth of our first child. FML

#21395232
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32500) - you deserved it (3399)

On 04/17/2015 at 2:15pm - misc - by testom - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, I was reprimanded at work for having a low friendliness rating as a cashier. For two months, out of 1500 transactions, only 3 people filled out the survey. I almost got fired because 1 out of 3 people was mad about a coupon. FML

Today, I came back from a week-long vacation where I had no internet whatsoever. I turned on my phone to get notifications, hoping to see a message or two that I'd missed while gone. There was 1 notification, telling me how many FMLs were posted while I was away. FML

#21388075
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29249) - you deserved it (2758)

On 04/05/2015 at 2:03pm - misc - by supercharged - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I coughed so hard that I fractured two ribs. FML

#21395325
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29321) - you deserved it (2371)

On 04/17/2015 at 5:47pm - health - by rachlette (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I orgasmed in front of someone for the first time. Too bad it was my dad who didn't knock before coming in. FML

#21399489
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25095) - you deserved it (3842)

On 04/25/2015 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after locking myself out of my house, I let myself into my car to wait on someone with a spare key. It took me 15 minutes to realise the house and car key share the same ring. FML

#21390076
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18974) - you deserved it (15382)

On 04/08/2015 at 3:36pm - misc - by losing the plot (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I picked up a rock outside and put it in my pocket because it looked cool. A teacher holding the door open stopped me and sent me to the principal. I was confused and asked the teacher why the strict action. She replied that someone has been putting rocks in the toilet. I got a detention. FML

#21386851
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28386) - you deserved it (2511)

On 04/03/2015 at 2:08am - misc - by overreacting - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was spending some time alone out in the countryside, when I glanced at my boot. I saw a snake, screamed, ran like hell for my car, tripped over my own feet, and smashed my kneecaps. Upon further inspection, I realized the "snake" was my loose shoelace. FML

#21399007
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19113) - you deserved it (9956)

On 04/24/2015 at 1:09pm - misc - by Kira (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I went driving for the first time with my mom. When she wasn't screaming, she gave great advice like, "Stop at the red light" and "Don't crash into cars". I need to drive 50 hours with her. FML

#21390568
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26736) - you deserved it (2225)

On 04/09/2015 at 10:03am - misc - by fedupson - United States (California)

Today, things got heated with my boyfriend for the first time. Turns out he's even more inexperienced than I thought; when I started grinding against him, he frowned and said, "Um... why're you doing that? We've still got clothes on..." FML

#21387249
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29041) - you deserved it (3271)

On 04/03/2015 at 9:57pm - intimacy - by lameows - United States



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