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April 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I realized that the only female who shows any sexual interest in me at all is my 70-year-old neighbor. FML

#21113897
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31803) - you deserved it (3155)

On 04/15/2014 at 5:55pm - love - by gerontofuck (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while I was waiting for the bus, I was whistling. I saw a cute girl running and I looked at my phone so it didn't seem too awkward. I was still whistling as she passed by so it sounded like I whistled at her. She ran back to slap me. FML

#21113376
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32397) - you deserved it (5432)

On 04/15/2014 at 12:24am - misc - by heycutie - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML

#21112406
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31524) - you deserved it (4748)

On 04/13/2014 at 11:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, our family went to a water park. The park's mascot came up to greet us, and my daughter got scared. She then refused to go inside, so we had no choice but to leave. FML

#21114019
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27617) - you deserved it (4089)

On 04/15/2014 at 8:20pm - kids - by Someone (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after ten years, our sewing machine broke. My mom tried to return it back to the store she bought it from. FML

#21115731
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20930) - you deserved it (1766)

On 04/17/2014 at 7:24pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. Not only was he boring, he twice excused himself to go to the bathroom and both times he came back smelling of weed. FML

#21101191
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36053) - you deserved it (5339)

On 03/31/2014 at 6:05pm - love - by Jaime - United States (New York)

Today, I really needed to be cheered up a bit after having had a horrible, depressing weekend. Luckily the guy I've been dating for some time, and who I really like, invited me over for dinner. Apparently, he wanted to see me so he could tell me he thinks we should stop seeing each other. FML

Today, I had to work at the restaurant instead of going to the prom, which nobody asked me out to. For five hours, I got to shamefully greet and seat people on their way home from the prom, all of whom knew I was too lame to get asked out. FML

#21111507
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39619) - you deserved it (3781)

On 04/12/2014 at 11:01pm - work - by annoyed teen - United States (Idaho)

Today, the girl I've been dating for two weeks brought up the topic of marriage, then started asking me when we're moving in together. FML

#21102998
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42041) - you deserved it (5340)

On 04/02/2014 at 5:22pm - love - by fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuc (man) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, I was telling my dad about how annoying it was to constantly have my ten-year-old cousin message me about her new boyfriend, when he suddenly bursts out laughing about how she can get a boyfriend at ten, and I have never even kissed a guy and I'm seventeen. FML

#21114115
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32322) - you deserved it (3854)

On 04/15/2014 at 10:18pm - love - by Foreveralone17362562 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to tell my daughter that just because markers say "washable", it doesn't mean that you can draw all over our newly-painted walls. She's 15. FML

#21102656
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37665) - you deserved it (5275)

On 04/02/2014 at 4:16am - kids - by IcyWinter - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, 30 minutes after finishing a great date with a great girl, she texted me and said, "Yeah, uh, never come near me again." FML

#21112056
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35731) - you deserved it (4556)

On 04/13/2014 at 4:33pm - love - by lax22 - United States (California)

Today, a week after moving into my new house, I'm seriously considering suing the previous occupant. He failed to mention how the neighbor has his own band and rehearses every other day until 2am. Their music is so bad, it sounds like the wailing of a cat being tortured to death. FML

#21105113
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33848) - you deserved it (4527)

On 04/05/2014 at 11:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



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