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April 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, when I went to the shopping centre, the automatic door wouldn't open for me. I had to stand there and wait until someone else walked by to open it for me. I suffer from dwarfism and this is a daily occurrence. FML

#21118654
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43025) - you deserved it (3196)

On 04/21/2014 at 12:11am - misc - by shorty (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML

#21116600
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27601) - you deserved it (33776)

On 04/18/2014 at 6:56pm - misc - by say no to dick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dad hit his mid-life crisis. When I came home and said hi, he told me to shut up, then went to the living room. He then lit up a cigarette and started muttering about having to put up with me, then went into a coughing fit, because he's never smoked before in his life. FML

#21110266
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38091) - you deserved it (2578)

On 04/11/2014 at 12:38pm - misc - by Cuntlette (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend of 3 years believes sex before marriage or even me just jacking off is a big no, doing online strip-shows for money is a big yes for her. Both times that I've proposed, she claimed she isn't "ready" for marriage. FML

#21118108
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35834) - you deserved it (6840)

On 04/20/2014 at 1:58pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, I met a cute guy, and everything went great. After a while, he asked me for my number and I gave it to him. Now he won't stop texting me, asking for pictures of my toes. FML

Today, my landlord started showing my apartment, where I have lived and paid rent for over 2 years, to prospective tenants. I didn't realize that I was moving. FML

#21120676
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28958) - you deserved it (1928)

On 04/23/2014 at 8:43am - misc - by Almost_Homeless - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a call from the police that my house had been burglarized, but an off-duty cop caught the criminal. I pull up to see my detained, psycho ex-boyfriend sheepishly grinning at me. He had three of my lace panties and two of my bras, claiming it was "all for memories sake". FML

#21115090
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42894) - you deserved it (3418)

On 04/16/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by exasperated (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after years of marriage and my lazy husband letting himself go, I can now finish a bottle of wine and still be sober. This means I've built immunity to the last thing that can make me want to have sex with him. FML

#21119490
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33779) - you deserved it (8030)

On 04/21/2014 at 11:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at the sandwich shop I work in. A customer came in and requested an assorted sub. As I finished putting on the sauces, I looked up to see the customer's face set in horror. Apparently I didn't notice that I licked my fingers clean after getting some mayonnaise on them. FML

#21120360
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10035) - you deserved it (35892)

On 04/22/2014 at 10:40pm - work - by NoGlovesNoChance - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the store to buy a phone I saw last week. I looked around a little first, then continued to the electronics section. I couldn't find the phone I saw, so I went to leave. Halfway to the exit, I was detained by security and grilled for ages over my "suspicious behaviour". FML

#21104459
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33010) - you deserved it (2909)

On 04/04/2014 at 3:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend to our local park, and I playfully climbed into one of the baby swings. I planned on having him push me, not getting stuck and having to be cut free from the seat while he laughed hysterically. FML

#21108537
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20476) - you deserved it (34321)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:50pm - love - by BabyButt - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. Out of nowhere, a huge, apparently suicidal bird dove into the windshield, putting a crack in it. My father yelled at me as if it was my fault, and is demanding I pay for the repairs. FML

#21110397
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37290) - you deserved it (2838)

On 04/11/2014 at 4:07pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland

Today, my sister is working on her graduation speech. She gives her thanks to one friend for helping support her through school, like, "The sister I never had". FML

#21110843
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34552) - you deserved it (3622)

On 04/12/2014 at 2:22am - misc - by onlychild (woman) - United States



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