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April 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my nephews discovered how to trick my washing machine into starting up while the door is still open. My laundry room is now flooded, and their mom refuses to accept any responsibility for it. FML

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. Everything seemed to be going well, when all of a sudden he turned to look at me with a pensive and thoughtful expression. I expected him to say something important, but instead he just said, "I was wondering, how does it feel to be fat?" FML

#21112565
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32952) - you deserved it (3925)

On 04/14/2014 at 2:29am - intimacy - by teddyissmall (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while playing basketball, my friend thanked me for passing the ball to him. I was too embarrassed to tell him that that was me shooting. FML

#21106910
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30793) - you deserved it (3934)

On 04/07/2014 at 4:54pm - misc - by DetergentFrog6 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while already late for work, a cop pulled me over. When he got to my window, he said, "Oh sorry, I thought I knew you," and sent me on my way. I was relieved, but still got written up for being late to work. My boss didn't believe the story. FML

Today, I was supervising a written exam, which took place in a really warm room. Half of the two hundred participants has probably never heard of deodorants. The other half used probably the whole can this morning. I had to stay in this inferno of stench for five hours. FML

#21103838
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34849) - you deserved it (3036)

On 04/03/2014 at 5:48pm - work - by RIP_Nose (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I was dismissed from my job at an unemployment agency. In order to receive financial support from the government I need to be cooperating with a job service provider. They paired me up with the same place I was just fired from. FML

#21101310
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36575) - you deserved it (2969)

On 03/31/2014 at 8:43pm - misc - by awks - Australia (Victoria)

Today, it was my birthday. I only got one message, from my dad, which was a sexual image meant for my mother. FML

#21110643
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37807) - you deserved it (2556)

On 04/11/2014 at 9:40pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I witnessed my roommate telling a girl that he has "really healthy shits". I wanted to make fun of him, but he got laid by said girl and I went home to jerk off. FML

#21108665
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34143) - you deserved it (5370)

On 04/09/2014 at 5:12pm - intimacy - by damn (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky, and I whispered that I love him. He immediately lost his boner, and a few minutes later "remembered" he had to be somewhere else. FML

#21111270
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37625) - you deserved it (5563)

On 04/12/2014 at 5:01pm - animals - by princess (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my grandmother is coming over to my family's house to stay for about a week or so. Apparently, the guest room window isn't big enough for her dream catcher, so she wants her cat to sleep in the guest room and she wants to sleep in my room. My parents support this. FML

#21103236
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38740) - you deserved it (3094)

On 04/02/2014 at 10:25pm - misc - by themonesterman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my psycho ex boyfriend, who I broke up with over a month ago showed up at my work yelling and crying because I didn't get him anything for his birthday. My boss now thinks I'm an asshole. FML

#21109350
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37916) - you deserved it (3741)

On 04/10/2014 at 11:50am - misc - by crazytown (woman) - United States (Colorado)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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