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July 2016

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Today, I was told I couldn't walk across the stage at my graduation because I owe money to lunch services. I owe 14 cents from my freshman year. FML

by AnimalWorld / 07/03/2016 at 12:57pm / United States (New York) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got threatened with a gun at the drive-thru, all because my coworker forgot to include extra fries in the guy's order. FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2016 at 3:29pm / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, in honor of America's birthday, my 50-year-old father decided to light off homemade bombs without telling anyone. The screams of me and my family members were louder than the bombs. FML

by Bacon0426 / 07/04/2016 at 5:03pm / United States (New York) / Holidays

Today, I was using the short urinal when I heard someone say, "Ahem!" in a loud voice. I looked back to see an angry little kid. He made me switch urinals so he could use the short one. I got urinal-evicted by a little boy. FML

by slingerslasher / 07/05/2016 at 3:09pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my phone autocorrected "with chills" to "with child" in the middle of a message, and I didn't notice until I was contacted several hours later by a panicking friend. My gastric flu is now rumoured to have been morning sickness, all because I can't proofread. FML

by DrumrollPlease / 07/13/2016 at 3:50am / United Kingdom (Oxfordshire) / Health

Today, after 22 hours running around the hospital, I found some time to sit still and have a sandwich. My attending physician walked by and commented that I must not have enough work to do. The same person who 12 hours ago said finding time to eat was a skill, since I was eating on the go. FML

by AverageAvarice / 07/07/2016 at 4:09pm / United States (Georgia) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I overheard my boss talking about me on the phone. Turns out he was drunk off his ass when he gave the go-ahead to hire me, and he's now searching for any excuse to legally fire me. FML

by Anonymous / 07/09/2016 at 11:14am / Work

Today, the guy I broke up with for being too possessive and jealous threatened to leak my nudes if he sees or hears that I've gotten with anyone else. FML

by Anonymous / 07/09/2016 at 7:31pm / Love

Today, I was trying to get a good night's sleep before the huge exam tomorrow, which I'm extremely anxious about. The SAME night my neighbor below me is having a home birth. It lasted NINE HOURS. FML

by katiebug / 07/11/2016 at 10:27pm / United States (Kansas) / Geek

Today, as I was laying on the bottom part of my bunk bed, I noticed a beam on the underside of the top bunk that seemed to have no place being there, so I tried to find out what it was. I soon discovered it was to support the bed after it promptly collapsed on me. FML

by CallmeTokey / 07/11/2016 at 11:21pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom hadn't talked to me for 5 days, so worried sick I called my grandpa. She's been in jail, and no one cared to inform me. Great. FML

by abygalee / 07/10/2016 at 4:42pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went into labor. I called my mother to ask her to drive me to the hospital. She wanted me to wait for her to take a nap first. FML

Today, unfortunately, my new husband's idea of foreplay is to tap me on the shoulder and tell me to roll over. I saved myself for marriage for this? FML

by Rover / 07/11/2016 at 3:03pm / Intimacy