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October 2016

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Today, my mother threatened my psychiatrist with legal action because he told her the organic and herbal "medicine" she swears by don't actually "cure" mental illness like she claims. FML

by mikki_arlert / 10/08/2016 at 1:24am / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, for the sixteenth consecutive time, I'm definitely not pregnant. Nope, I'm just super bitchy, and I like really weird food. FML

by Amie89 / 10/09/2016 at 12:37am / United States (Ohio) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after months of arguing and conflict, I broke up wIth my fiancé. Or at least, I tried to. The wedding's off, but only until he can convince me to want to marry him again. FML

by Anonymous / 10/11/2016 at 1:17am / United States / Love

Today, I was taking my phone out of my pocket when it caught on the fabric and began to fall. I managed to catch it, but also smacked myself in the balls in the process. FML

by anonymous / 10/11/2016 at 1:23am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my grandma my boyfriend broke up with me. She immediately asked if it was because I didn't put out. I'm 15. FML

by LittleLou / 10/16/2016 at 12:28am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I narrowly avoided a head-on collision in the parking garage. The other driver cussed me out. It's a one-way route through the parking garage, and I was going the right way. FML

by DC / 10/11/2016 at 9:41am / United States (Iowa) / Transportation

Today, I told the doctor that one of my ribs sticks out farther than the other. When I lifted my shirt to show him, he immediately laughed and said, "Whoa, that's not subtle is it!" As if I wasn't already insecure about it. FML

by justmyluck5150 / 10/17/2016 at 1:58pm / United States / Health

Today, after a week of rejoicing that my petty, passive-aggressive, bullying neighbours were moving away, I came home to find the "to let" board had been outside the wrong house the whole time. It's actually the people I really like who are moving away. FML

by Jade / 10/15/2016 at 7:22am / United Kingdom (Brent) / Miscellaneous

Today, as usual, I got to my internship early, did everything my bosses asked. At the end of the day, I was fired after 3 weeks of working unpaid overtime because they found an applicant with more experience for the job I applied to and they wanted to cut costs. FML

by Anonymous / 10/20/2016 at 1:59pm / Singapore / Work

Today, my boyfriend of nearly six months broke up with me. Over text. In a group chat. With the new girl he wanted to date. FML

by Anonymous / 10/22/2016 at 12:32am / Love

Today, while changing my tampon in a public restroom, a toddler crawled under the door of my stall and asked what I was doing. I had to wait until I'd finished to open the door and let her out. FML

by 2young4birds&bees / 10/24/2016 at 11:53am / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to call a customer. I usually try to avoid calling customers because I have a very prominent speech impediment. Well, it turns out the customer I called also has a speech impediment and thought I was mocking her. She hung up on me and filed a formal complaint with my company. FML

by Jen / 10/20/2016 at 12:32pm / Work

Today, at the register, I got a spontaneous nose bleed. The lady behind the counter apparently didn't do well with blood. Her face turned white, she passed out and fell with her head on the counter. FML

by Kay / 10/20/2016 at 6:37am / Work