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May 2015

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Today, I tried to write a bad review for the fast-food place at which I work part-time. My username made me anonymous, but I forgot to change my profile picture. Now my manager and coworkers won't even speak to me. FML

#21405584
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10760) - you deserved it (39895)

On 05/06/2015 at 10:34am - work - by Freelman - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I woke up to my roommates "pet" snake casually lying in bed with me. I then got yelled at for screaming and scaring the snake. Apparently, it's my fault that it bit my chin. FML

Today, my boyfriend's mum publicly shamed him on Facebook after she caught him having sex under her roof today. Everyone thought it was hilarious, except me. Not because I'm ashamed, but because I'm over 300 miles away right now. FML

#21407667
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36520) - you deserved it (2008)

On 05/10/2015 at 8:16am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. My mom's reaction was, I shit you not, to tell me to "walk it off". FML

#21403286
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28560) - you deserved it (2356)

On 05/02/2015 at 5:59am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I got hit on by an attractive young doctor. After talking for a while we realized that we recognized each other but couldn't figure out how. Then he remembered. He was the one who'd delivered my 10 1/2 lb baby 7 months ago. I stood out because my vag tore worse than anything he'd ever seen. FML

Today, at work, I was about to close a big sale, when a coworker rushed over and said there was a call for me in the office. He heavily implied my mom had died, and I rushed out. After I figured out there was no call and that my mom was fine, he'd already stolen my sale and the commission. FML

#21410601
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35102) - you deserved it (2000)

On 05/15/2015 at 4:58pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while serving a customer, she told me: "God made you a working class citizen so you could serve! If God wanted you to go to college, he would have made sure you were able to go!" FML

Today, I woke up in my living room after having a party. I then realized my fish tank with many different species was missing from its usual spot. After searching for a few minutes, I finally found it in the freezer. FML

#21415477
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25531) - you deserved it (7093)

On 05/25/2015 at 12:10pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mom told me I'm the reason she's going to kill herself one day. FML

#21414323
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26204) - you deserved it (2595)

On 05/23/2015 at 3:51am - kids - by DaoOfPow (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I overheard my 14-year-old daughter telling her friend that she's saving money to get her hymen surgically removed so her first time won't hurt. FML

#21405071
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29570) - you deserved it (3043)

On 05/05/2015 at 11:31am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend complained that I only respond to his flirtations with exasperation and annoyance. Apparently, grunting and humping my leg like an ill-mannered dog while I'm trying to wash dishes is his way of flirting. FML

#21405919
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29380) - you deserved it (3156)

On 05/06/2015 at 10:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my brother babysat for me. He invited his girlfriend around without me knowing, and they were all playing hide and seek together. While he and his girl were hiding, they decided to have a quickie. My three year old found them and saw everything. She won't stop copying their sex noises. FML

#21412889
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33040) - you deserved it (2577)

On 05/20/2015 at 4:45am - intimacy - by wtf bro (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I had to say to my 23-year-old son that it's not a compliment to tell a woman that he wants to jam his cock down her throat. FML

#21405973
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31641) - you deserved it (4297)

On 05/06/2015 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by dadoftheyear (man) - United States



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

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