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July 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I spent hours cooking a big dinner for my parents for the first time. I guess I made the steak too rare, because when my dad cut into it, he said "Christ! This thing's practically alive!" and said a skilled vet could probably bring the cow it was cut from back to life. FML

#21443824
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21251) - you deserved it (3354)

On 07/19/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I rang up a good friend to ask her to be one of the two bridesmaids at my upcoming wedding. Before I could ask, she let me know that she would not be attending my wedding, as, "Weddings are expensive, so I'm not attending ones for people that are just acquaintances". FML

#21435764
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26071) - you deserved it (1978)

On 07/03/2015 at 6:30am - misc - by NeedMoreFriends (woman) - United Kingdom (Wakefield)

Today, it's been 3 days since I moved into my new house. I'm already known as the neighborhood racist, after some dicksplash thought it'd be funny to tape a sign to my door overnight that said: "DO NOT RING IF YOU ARE A NEGRO AND/OR JEW." FML

#21436613
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27082) - you deserved it (2074)

On 07/05/2015 at 1:42am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, while swimming in my neighborhood pool, I noticed what looked like several cigarettes resting at the bottom and decided to investigate. Turns out it was actually just a used, bloody tampon that had spent enough time underwater to be broken into multiple pieces, and spread across the pool. FML

#21435503
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23875) - you deserved it (1841)

On 07/02/2015 at 6:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, on the bus, my blood sugar level got too low and I passed out. When I came to, the woman next to me was hitting me, saying she needed to get off and that she didn't have time for my "stupid fucking prank". FML

#21445474
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27333) - you deserved it (1818)

On 07/22/2015 at 1:35pm - health - by qhorin halflung (woman) -

Today, my 5-year-old won't stop princess-waving at people. This would be fine, but she looks exactly like she is giving the Nazi salute. I got dirty looks from nearly everyone at the supermarket. FML

#21438778
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22519) - you deserved it (1922)

On 07/08/2015 at 11:13pm - kids - by momoftheyearedition - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to listen to Lou Bega's 'Mambo Number 5' on constant replay for 3 hours, because my little sister was trying to learn a dance for a recital. It would have been even longer than 3 hours, but she then realized that she was dancing to the wrong song. FML

#21441519
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21965) - you deserved it (1447)

On 07/14/2015 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was reading a picture storybook to a kindergarten kid. She could pronounce more words than me, and corrected me. I'm about triple her age. FML

#21445328
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13867) - you deserved it (23321)

On 07/22/2015 at 2:32am - kids - by thebiteof87 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, most of my family was out of the house, so I took the opportunity to go to the bathroom and browse some porn. Five minutes later my sister comes and asks me to disconnect from bluetooth and that my "dinosaur noises" were blocking her and her friend's music. I'm currently hiding in shame. FML

#21441140
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22293) - you deserved it (10722)

On 07/13/2015 at 5:15pm - intimacy - by Nigel - United States

Today, my boss called me in to have a serious talk. The "serious talk" was him asking me to notify him of my menstrual cycle ahead of time so he can "avoid that shit". FML

#21446059
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23880) - you deserved it (2433)

On 07/23/2015 at 3:00pm - work - by Ma_Nikka (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I sent my long-distance boyfriend a heartfelt message about how much I missed him. He sent me back a picture of a Minion. FML

#21442865
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25084) - you deserved it (3207)

On 07/17/2015 at 3:04am - love - by anon - Australia (Victoria)

Today, our family dog died. A couple of hours after the death, my mother-in-law slapped my crying five year old son over the head and told him to "Man up." She totally refuses to admit she did anything wrong. FML

Today, I had decided that I was ready to have sex with my boyfriend. So, I called him and told him how naughty I felt, only to realize that I had called my dad. FML

#21441357
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23579) - you deserved it (19449)

On 07/14/2015 at 1:03am - intimacy - by EternalBlossom (woman) - United States



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