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May 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my dad came to my 8-year-old daughter's birthday party wearing a shirt that said "Small penis, huge dick." FML

#21414312
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25836) - you deserved it (2053)

On 05/23/2015 at 3:03am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my father passed away. I called my boss to let him know about the situation. His only response before hanging up: "Shit, dude. Well, I'll see you in the morning, these reports won't write themselves." FML

#21414400
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28681) - you deserved it (1602)

On 05/23/2015 at 10:50am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend's mum publicly shamed him on Facebook after she caught him having sex under her roof today. Everyone thought it was hilarious, except me. Not because I'm ashamed, but because I'm over 300 miles away right now. FML

#21407667
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36301) - you deserved it (2002)

On 05/10/2015 at 8:16am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I tried to write a bad review for the fast-food place at which I work part-time. My username made me anonymous, but I forgot to change my profile picture. Now my manager and coworkers won't even speak to me. FML

#21405584
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10750) - you deserved it (39801)

On 05/06/2015 at 10:34am - work - by Freelman - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I overheard my 14-year-old daughter telling her friend that she's saving money to get her hymen surgically removed so her first time won't hurt. FML

#21405071
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29550) - you deserved it (3042)

On 05/05/2015 at 11:31am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. My mom's reaction was, I shit you not, to tell me to "walk it off". FML

#21403286
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28539) - you deserved it (2355)

On 05/02/2015 at 5:59am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my friends made a little game out of my OCD. They like to purposely poke one of my arms so I immediately poke the other one. They think it's hilarious and now do it constantly. FML

#21414073
88 comments

Today, I had to say to my 23-year-old son that it's not a compliment to tell a woman that he wants to jam his cock down her throat. FML

#21405973
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31479) - you deserved it (4292)

On 05/06/2015 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by dadoftheyear (man) - United States

Today, I changed my toothbrush because the bristles were wearing down. My brother later asked me why I changed his toothbrush. Apparently we've been sharing the same one for the past several weeks. FML

#21403442
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29928) - you deserved it (3591)

On 05/02/2015 at 2:39pm - misc - by gross - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my husband I felt unfulfilled and unhappy in my life. He suggested I do more chores. FML

#21405437
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27393) - you deserved it (3265)

On 05/06/2015 at 12:13am - misc - by msleea - United States (California)

Today, a guy at work told me I look like a famous celebrity. I was flattered, until he remembered the celebrity's name: Steve Buscemi. That wouldn't be a compliment, even if I weren't a 24-year-old woman. FML

#21403358
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25892) - you deserved it (2093)

On 05/02/2015 at 11:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, during a very stressful and busy day at work, I took a bathroom break. Unfortunately, of all the things on my mind, taking down my pants before emptying my bladder wasn't one of them. FML

#21407716
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27948) - you deserved it (6993)

On 05/10/2015 at 10:34am - misc - by pissed (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my little cousin was helping me wash my car. After scrubbing all the dirt, I gave him the hose and said, "Okay, now rinse off this disgusting thing." He turned the hose on me. FML

#21409816
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23629) - you deserved it (5792)

On 05/14/2015 at 12:26am - kids - by ptarr12345 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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