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March 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after months of job hunting, I finally got a phone call. They were impressed with me. That's when my son decided to throw a tantrum asking for food. After some silence, the caller told me they were looking for someone who wasn't juggling little kids at home and hung up. My son is 20. FML

#21377225
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32805) - you deserved it (5041)

On 03/18/2015 at 5:26pm - kids - by Stressed Mother (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I'm faced with the prospect of having to defend my sister from a herd of very angry bronies. FML

#21368771
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24160) - you deserved it (2084)

On 03/05/2015 at 5:34pm - misc - by Why? - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up this morning in a panic. Last night, I heard scratching at my door, but I thought it was just my cat and went back to sleep. This morning, it hit me that my cat is 600 miles away living with my mom in Iowa. I'm terrified to even sleep now. FML

#21370427
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31801) - you deserved it (2534)

On 03/08/2015 at 10:41am - animals - by no salt, no burning, just STFU (man) - United States

Today, I thought the ring my boyfriend bought for me had fallen off while emptying the trash into the bin. After panicking and emptying a week's worth of rubbish onto the ground, I found my ring safe and sound. On my other hand. FML

#21372086
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18000) - you deserved it (25678)

On 03/10/2015 at 8:33pm - love - by MyPrecious... (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was playing charades with my boyfriend and family. The answer was "Beckoning" so I acted it out with a "come here" gesture. He looked confused for a second, then blurted out "Fingering?" FML

#21378887
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27775) - you deserved it (3379)

On 03/21/2015 at 11:12am - misc - by ajodasdojsad (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my boyfriend convinced a girl at the club to break up with her boyfriend and go home with him. She did. Now I'm single too. FML

#21368542
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34894) - you deserved it (2830)

On 03/05/2015 at 8:32am - love - by therealkathl - Austria

Today, I rolled up a newspaper and smashed a huge spider in my room. As I went to scoop it up with a tissue, it lurched away and fell near my bed. I can't find it, but I can sure as fuck sense the pure evil coming from it. Looks like I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight. FML

#21369803
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27855) - you deserved it (4838)

On 03/07/2015 at 7:14am - animals - by farksh (woman) - Australia

Today, during a family game of "Cards Against Humanity," I had to explain to my mom what queefing is. FML

Today, my mom and I made the bad decision to go hiking for some mother-daughter bonding even though we had little experience. My mother tumbled down a mountain named Tumbledown and I couldn't even enjoy the irony because I had to half carry her all the way back to the car. FML

#21375957
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26699) - you deserved it (3064)

On 03/16/2015 at 8:56pm - health - by manderpander21 - United States (New York)

Today, I was wearing a new tank top that was really cute. I later was talking to an attractive guy and thought he was giggling at me because he thought I was being cute and funny. I then realized he was giggling at the fact that I only shaved one armpit. FML

#21378703
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26611) - you deserved it (9096)

On 03/21/2015 at 12:25am - love - by rayraydayday - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML

#21378507
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26621) - you deserved it (2043)

On 03/20/2015 at 5:23pm - misc - by ~__~ -

Today, I took my son to the playground and watched him have fun. Minutes later, I was being shoved around and called a pedophile because I was there alone with no wife. By the time I convinced them I was innocent, my son was bawling. FML

#21374998
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37138) - you deserved it (1808)

On 03/15/2015 at 12:11pm - kids - by pledonasm (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML

#21382327
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17891) - you deserved it (1812)

On 03/27/2015 at 9:29am - kids - by njh - Ireland



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