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April 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to the dentist for the first time in years. His first comment upon inspecting my teeth: "Meth. Hell of a drug." FML

#21395729
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27024) - you deserved it (9793)

On 04/18/2015 at 12:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my roommate's noisiest cat passed away. My previously-silent cat has decided that someone has to fill the void, and has been running around the apartment howling ever since. FML

#21391230
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26995) - you deserved it (3081)

On 04/10/2015 at 11:20am - animals - by Crazy cat lady - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out that my family and friends all laugh and compare me to Spongebob behind my back. Why? Because I'm 37 and still can't pass my driver's test. FML

#21391668
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27910) - you deserved it (16506)

On 04/11/2015 at 3:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I showed a kid how to knock somebody out for self defense. He then knocked me unconscious with the same method I'd just showed him. FML

#21390911
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26117) - you deserved it (9428)

On 04/09/2015 at 9:02pm - misc - by Jakesssss - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a 'Good Morning' text from my boyfriend. Since I hadn't gotten one of those in a while, I thought it was rather nice. That is, until I saw the picture that accompanied it. It was of him, sitting on the toilet and taking a shit. FML

#21390594
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26841) - you deserved it (3219)

On 04/09/2015 at 11:10am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I invited a guy I've been crushing on for ages to my house, and I really wanted to make a good impression. We were sitting in the living room having drinks when my cat came in, dragging a pair of my dirty underwear and dropped them right in front of us. FML

#21394577
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30416) - you deserved it (3807)

On 04/16/2015 at 9:10am - animals - by HM (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I went on a date with a cute guy I met at a bookstore. He stood up and said he was leaving when I said that I didn't like 50 Shades of Grey, because he, "doesn't want to be near a bitch who doesn't know her place". He then told me to give him a ride home. FML

#21392816
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33469) - you deserved it (2805)

On 04/13/2015 at 6:43am - love - by whymanwhy (woman) - Czech Republic

Today, I lost my virginity in a porta-potty. FML

#21389255
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16681) - you deserved it (41651)

On 04/07/2015 at 12:19pm - love - by NotALuckyGuy - United States (Ohio)

Today, my 3-year-old broke his glasses, clogged the toilet with Hot Wheel cars, and covered the whole house with Cheerios. All in a matter of roughly 6 minutes while I was putting laundry away. FML

#21393865
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29608) - you deserved it (3321)

On 04/15/2015 at 12:17am - kids - by mommylife (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got up feeling refreshed and positive for the first time in ages, so I happily threw my window open to greet the beautiful morning. A bee flew into my eye. FML

#21394396
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29158) - you deserved it (2670)

On 04/15/2015 at 10:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I ran into the woman who hit my car and drove off three days ago. She was my bank teller. I called 911; she pressed the silent alarm. Guess whose story the cops believed. FML

#21392789
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34866) - you deserved it (2348)

On 04/13/2015 at 5:00am - misc - by yupthissucks - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was so sleep-deprived, I thought a white car driving toward me was a polar bear. I screamed like a little girl and started panicking. I live in California. FML

#21396178
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25729) - you deserved it (6782)

On 04/19/2015 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was staying at my boyfriend's house while he was at work, and put on his pants to make some tea. As I took my hot tea and laptop upstairs, the pants slowly started to fall down. I had to keep climbing with my pants around my knees, and shuffle awkwardly past my boyfriend's father. FML

#21399154
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19776) - you deserved it (6335)

On 04/24/2015 at 6:38pm - misc - by Bullet4MyChemaMo - Ireland (Cork)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.



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