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July 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was making some scrambled eggs. I had the eggs in a pan, stirring for about ten minutes, before I realised that the eggs were cooking very slow. I tried to figure out what was wrong for another few minutes before my grandma pointed out to me that the oven wasn't turned on. FML

#21447619
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9193) - you deserved it (16239)

On 07/26/2015 at 5:04pm - misc - by sarah4241 - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, while at work, a customer, who was also on his phone, rudely asked what kinds of bread we had for his sandwich. After I told him we had many different kinds to offer, he cut me off, told me to stop playing stupid, and stormed out after holding up a long line of people. FML

#21437185
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22211) - you deserved it (1761)

On 07/06/2015 at 2:03am - work - by breadcrumb - United States (Missouri)

Today, after months of hardcore training, free of injuries, I pinched a nerve in my neck while putting on a swimsuit to lie in the sun doing nothing. FML

#21443051
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24192) - you deserved it (2001)

On 07/17/2015 at 2:11pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I'm babysitting for kids whose parents said they would be back by 12. Its 4am and they still aren't home. I don't get paid enough for this. FML

#21435758
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25554) - you deserved it (1763)

On 07/03/2015 at 5:09am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend asked me to get her a pregnancy test. After using it, we couldn't find how to tell if she was or wasn't pregnant. After about 10 minutes of waiting, Google searching, and tension, I realized I had bought an ovulation test. FML

#21446911
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11037) - you deserved it (18972)

On 07/25/2015 at 6:10am - misc - by Mmm - United States (California)

Today, I went by myself to do a birthday party in a park, dressed as Elsa from Frozen. Everything was going fine until another Elsa and an Anna showed up to a nearby party. The kids then decided I was a fake and pulled my wig off. FML

#21439169
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25368) - you deserved it (2204)

On 07/09/2015 at 7:08pm - work - by princessrose - United States (Kansas)

Today, my grandma and I went shopping. When I picked up some shower gel, she started ranting in front of everyone that shower gel injures one's "lady parts" and causes infertility, and that she wants me to give her great-grandchildren. FML

#21446839
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21351) - you deserved it (1485)

On 07/25/2015 at 1:30am - misc - by for fuck's sake, gran (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, instead of kissing my child's boo-boo on her finger to make it feel better, I accidentally headbutted her. FML

#21443580
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21518) - you deserved it (2773)

On 07/18/2015 at 3:08pm - kids - by ddhaley1 (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I came home after just 3 weeks of being away. It seems like my pool now has its own mini-ecosystem. FML

#21443044
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21321) - you deserved it (4841)

On 07/17/2015 at 1:56pm - misc - by IssacB (man) - United States

Today, I accidentally texted the girl I like, "Oh god, I just choked on a boner." I meant bone. FML

#21442630
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24161) - you deserved it (4288)

On 07/16/2015 at 3:22pm - misc - by Boneo and Juliet - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was working at the local grocery store and a customer of mine, who had only bought two granola bars and was holding up my line, tried to convert me to Christianity. Out of all the people to target, she chose the shy atheist who just wanted to do her minimum wage job in peace. FML

#21445275
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24001) - you deserved it (2601)

On 07/22/2015 at 12:20am - work - by Quortney - United States

Today, I woke to find a pool of my own blood all over my pillow. Frantic to find the source of the blood, I rushed into the bathroom and tripped over my too-long pajama pants. Crashing to the floor face first, I broke my nose. Turns out I had just bitten my lip in the middle of the night. FML

#21444253
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23069) - you deserved it (3263)

On 07/19/2015 at 11:02pm - health - by Bleach dat Blood (woman) -

Today, I was talking to my friend, who was telling me he's having suicidal thoughts lately. He then said he'd be back in a few minutes. Nearly an hour passed. I panicked, thinking he'd offed himself. Several minutes after I called the emergency services, he messaged me, saying "K, back." FML

#21443864
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25457) - you deserved it (2740)

On 07/19/2015 at 2:49am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)



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