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July 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I heard my skinny 14-year-old daughter tell her friend, "Ugh, I wish I had leukemia or something so that I could lose weight." Yes, she actually said that. FML

Today, after replacing several components on my new used car, I realized that the reason it wasn't getting the gas mileage it was supposed to because my coworkers take turns siphoning my gas while I work. FML

#21435168
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18545) - you deserved it (1071)

On 07/02/2015 at 12:16am - work - by thatshelpful - United States (Iowa)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend came to see me and told me that he had a surprise for me. I was excited at the idea of a romantic gesture, but forgot about it until he arrived and things began heating up. As I was removing his pants, I said, "Ooh, you shaved!" to which he replied, "Surprise!" FML

#21435204
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16080) - you deserved it (2280)

On 07/02/2015 at 1:53am - intimacy - by mirandale (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out where my sister's pet lizard escaped to. I also found out that the little shit likes to hide in dark, cold places. I discovered this when I heard the bastard squeal as I started the lawnmower. FML

#21435132
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16723) - you deserved it (1393)

On 07/01/2015 at 11:10pm - animals - by Alex Andreas - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my mother-in-law started chasing my kids around her house to make them smell her freshly-washed underwear. They were thongs. FML

#21435026
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16793) - you deserved it (1066)

On 07/01/2015 at 7:38pm - misc - by bleachingmykidsbrains - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after helping run salads and bread to a table, they demanded I do something about the bug problem. I would've been more understanding if they hadn't chosen to sit outside. FML

#21435223
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17675) - you deserved it (1133)

On 07/02/2015 at 2:40am - work - by smokecloud_ - United States (Ohio)

Today, my neighbor yelled at me for driving recklessly. I was going 35 mph, and she was stopped in the middle of a road around a blind curve. My "reckless driving" was slamming on the brakes so I wouldn't hit her. FML

#21435393
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13981) - you deserved it (971)

On 07/02/2015 at 2:00pm - misc - by _whyy_mee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I told my parents I'm pregnant. I got a long lecture from my mom about using protection. It would have been fine hearing all that, but I'm turning 22, I've been moved out for a few years, have a full time job with great benefits, and am getting married next summer. FML

#21435425
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9163) - you deserved it (1489)

On 07/02/2015 at 3:16pm - misc - by I'm an adult! - United States (Washington)

Today, while swimming in my neighborhood pool, I noticed what looked like several cigarettes resting at the bottom and decided to investigate. Turns out it was actually just a used, bloody tampon that had spent enough time underwater to be broken into multiple pieces, and spread across the pool. FML

#21435503
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6713) - you deserved it (502)

On 07/02/2015 at 6:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a guest at the hotel I work at started shouting at me. Apparently the street vendor selling sunglasses outside the hotel sold her a pair of 'genuine' Ray Bans for $5. She wanted me to phone the police because she realized two days later they were fake. FML

#21435445
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7481) - you deserved it (498)

On 07/02/2015 at 4:25pm - love - by soo -

Today, I rang up a good friend to ask her to be one of the two bridesmaids at my upcoming wedding. Before I could ask, she let me know that she would not be attending my wedding, as, "Weddings are expensive, so I'm not attending ones for people that are just acquaintances". FML

#21435764
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4629) - you deserved it (349)

On 07/03/2015 at 6:30am - misc - by NeedMoreFriends (woman) - United Kingdom (Wakefield)

Today, I'm babysitting for kids whose parents said they would be back by 12. Its 4am and they still aren't home. I don't get paid enough for this. FML

#21435758
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4545) - you deserved it (314)

On 07/03/2015 at 5:09am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)



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