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April 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out just how much my dog likes ice-cream when she tackled a little girl at a park for hers. FML

Today, I had to get stitches in my vagina due to an unfortunate mishap while climbing a fence. FML

#21389569
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31351) - you deserved it (4655)

On 04/07/2015 at 8:47pm - misc - by burnswhenipee - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a parent of one of the students I teach called me to complain that I was teaching her child "lies" and "fairytales". I was teaching them about the Holocaust. FML

#21390720
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31582) - you deserved it (1795)

On 04/09/2015 at 3:38pm - work - by PrettySureItsReal - United States (Missouri)

Today, I walked in on my 17-year-old brother jerking it to a scene from the movie Frozen. Brain bleach, please. FML

#21390007
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33197) - you deserved it (3541)

On 04/08/2015 at 1:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that my family and friends all laugh and compare me to Spongebob behind my back. Why? Because I'm 37 and still can't pass my driver's test. FML

#21391668
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26803) - you deserved it (15739)

On 04/11/2015 at 3:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a really drunk couple staggered into the store I work at. One of them yelled at me, "Hey you! Kid! Tell us where the booze is at!" This would have been funny if these people weren't my parents. FML

#21384902
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26196) - you deserved it (2283)

On 03/31/2015 at 7:32pm - work - by DrunkParents - United States (Montana)

Today, I lost my virginity in a porta-potty. FML

#21389255
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16372) - you deserved it (40412)

On 04/07/2015 at 12:19pm - love - by NotALuckyGuy - United States (Ohio)

Today, my brother in law brought a dead rabbit to my nephew saying, "I found the Easter Bunny!" My nephew started crying hours ago and hasn't stopped. FML

#21388202
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28248) - you deserved it (2159)

On 04/05/2015 at 6:19pm - animals - by :O - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I went on a date with a cute guy I met at a bookstore. He stood up and said he was leaving when I said that I didn't like 50 Shades of Grey, because he, "doesn't want to be near a bitch who doesn't know her place". He then told me to give him a ride home. FML

#21392816
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31018) - you deserved it (2677)

On 04/13/2015 at 6:43am - love - by whymanwhy (woman) - Czech Republic

Today, I showed a kid how to knock somebody out for self defense. He then knocked me unconscious with the same method I'd just showed him. FML

#21390911
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25463) - you deserved it (9242)

On 04/09/2015 at 9:02pm - misc - by Jakesssss - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML

#21389410
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26758) - you deserved it (3319)

On 04/07/2015 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my roommate's noisiest cat passed away. My previously-silent cat has decided that someone has to fill the void, and has been running around the apartment howling ever since. FML

#21391230
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26222) - you deserved it (3056)

On 04/10/2015 at 11:20am - animals - by Crazy cat lady - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I ran into the woman who hit my car and drove off three days ago. She was my bank teller. I called 911; she pressed the silent alarm. Guess whose story the cops believed. FML

#21392789
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32209) - you deserved it (2236)

On 04/13/2015 at 5:00am - misc - by yupthissucks - United States (Georgia)



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