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February 2016

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while at work at a small Microsoft partner company, I had to write an email explaining why Internet Explorer is superior to Google Chrome. FML

#21523050
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21134) - you deserved it (2067)

On 02/05/2016 at 11:36am - work - by Coccinelle - France

Today, my boyfriend of three years and I went to visit my 85 year-old grandmother at the hospital. While I went to the restroom, she apparently told him about a guy I was seeing on the side. I have no idea who she's talking about and my boyfriend refuses to talk to me. FML

#21521929
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20147) - you deserved it (1337)

On 02/01/2016 at 10:23pm - love - by itsjustemcee - United States

Today, I was at the gym. I'm 360 lbs and have finally decided it's time to change that. Some girl and her two bitch friends thought it'd be fun to follow me and belittle me at everything I did. When I mentioned it to the staff, they said that they were just "encouraging" me. FML

#21522018
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26521) - you deserved it (1732)

On 02/02/2016 at 5:17am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at my job drug testing high schoolers, I see that one of the kids selected for the testing looked incredibly high. So, after he goes in the bathroom and gives me his cup with his urine inside, I take a closer look and see that the little shit jizzed in the cup. I hate my job. FML

#21522183
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22762) - you deserved it (2240)

On 02/02/2016 at 5:53pm - work - by zachhewett - United States (Alabama)

Today, after a badly misjudged hand signal, I accidentally hit my boss in the face instead of high-fiving her. FML

#21522381
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17805) - you deserved it (2754)

On 02/03/2016 at 10:06am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my psycho-obsessed ex-girlfriend blabbed all about how she got a check in the mail for $1000 from CrimeStoppers on Facebook and Twitter. This explains how my current girlfriend and two of my friends all got arrested last week for having weed. FML

#21522828
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17323) - you deserved it (4113)

On 02/04/2016 at 5:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, as my brother parked in our hotel's parking lot, I told him to be careful because the car wasn't straight. He retorted, "Yeah, just like you". My mother was in the back seat and heard everything. I hadn't come out yet. FML

#21523010
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18382) - you deserved it (2412)

On 02/05/2016 at 7:37am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after years of lonesome birthdays overseas, I am finally able to celebrate the occasion at home. My best friend of 10 years will not be attending because her boyfriend of two months is having his party the same night. FML

Today, my dad thought it was a great idea to text me and say he decided to put our dog down. I was in the middle of class and still had hours left at school. It's not fun to walk across campus holding back tears. FML

#21522136
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22692) - you deserved it (1376)

On 02/02/2016 at 3:05pm - misc - by wideeyeddays (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my parents called me to ask if I could drop my dog off to them on Sunday. They're having a Superbowl party and want to show her off to their guests. My dog is invited, but I'm not. FML

#21522725
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19463) - you deserved it (1453)

On 02/04/2016 at 10:16am - animals - by uninvited (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with the guy I like. He couldn't get it up and awkwardly tried to stick his limp penis in. FML

#21523192
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17837) - you deserved it (1985)

On 02/05/2016 at 8:33pm - intimacy - by myusofwe (woman) - Puerto Rico

Today, I was clipping my abnormally thick toenails. I had to apply so much pressure on the clippers that a nail flew off, hit me in the eyeball and scratched my cornea. The doctor nearly fell off his chair laughing during my eye exam after I told him what happened. FML

#21523193
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17602) - you deserved it (1713)

On 02/05/2016 at 8:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I told my step-mom that my medication is causing me to lose weight. She looked me up and down and suggested I triple my dosage. FML

#21523215
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17012) - you deserved it (1673)

On 02/05/2016 at 10:11pm - misc - by cuntingbitchofawhore - United States (Indiana)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

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FML's blog

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Friday 5 February 2016

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