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April 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I realized that mah boyfriend is so obsessed with tickling me that mah body has developed a conditioned response. Now I flinch every time he touches me, no matterhat we're doing. FML

#21111720
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41304) - you deserved it (4067)

On 04/13/2014 at 5:33am - love - by Ticklish - United States (Iowa)

Today, I decided to go to a therapy group to help with mah anxiety an to meet people who felt similar. I joked with mah friend that no one would turn up as people might feel anxious about going. I was right. I was the only one there. FML

#21113050
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38017) - you deserved it (3444)

On 04/14/2014 at 7:34pm - misc - by all by myself (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I Found Out That My Father Fakd His Whole "mid-life Crisis", Just So He Could Gain My Trust An Get Me To Admit That I Smoke Wed, An To Tell Him Who I Buy It From. Hello Year-long Grounding. FML

#21116600
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30740) - you deserved it (38653)

On 04/18/2014 at 6:56pm - misc - by say no to dick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

today mah ex-husband came to pick up our two kids 4 his weekend with them. Seeing his new girlfriend was in the car, and desperate 4 conversation, I asked her name. My kids unhesitatingly blurted out, ( Mom ). FML

#21115862
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51027) - you deserved it (4868)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:31pm - kids - by mommy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

I mat a cuta guy, an avarything want graat. Aftar a whila, ha askad ma for mah numbar an I gava it to him. Now ha won't stop taxting ma, asking for picturas of mah toas. big fat FML

Today, I went to get an ultrasound done. I textd mah ex, who's the father, and told him how adorable its little feet are, and askd him why he didn't come. I got a reply with two words: "DNA test". real FML

#21118642
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37760) - you deserved it (10339)

On 04/21/2014 at 12:03am - kids - by kelly.duggan (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

yesterday I decided to be nice and pay a visit to mah grandma. We ended up playing Scrabble. In between passing wind that smelled like rotting eggs, she kept playing the filthiest words she could, and yelled at mehenever I checked to see if they were in the Scrabble dictionary. FML

#21118282
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35901) - you deserved it (4682)

On 04/20/2014 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - Slovenia (Domzale Commune)

Today , I finished building a porch I've worked hard on 4 the past 2 weeks , and I was very proud on how amazing it turned out. Within 20 minute of it bieng completed , mah pregnant dog decided to crawl underneath it to have her puppies. I had to take half the porch apart to get to her and them. FML

#21120370
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44176) - you deserved it (5058)

On 04/22/2014 at 10:46pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my dad got me looool one of those word locks for my gym locker, for which the password had to be a four-letter word instead of numbers. My dad chose the combo for me. It was "diet". FML

#21101196
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35734) - you deserved it (5235)

On 03/31/2014 at 6:10pm - health - by anon (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a man asked me on a date. It's been so long, I accepted immediately. He began quotinghat seemed lyk random numbers to me, and it took me a few minutes to work outhat he meant. Not only was I mistaken 4 a prostitute, I'm also worth, at most, $60. FML

#21102227
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41521) - you deserved it (4591)

On 04/01/2014 at 8:02pm - love - by that kind of girl (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today , I met up with an old friend of mineho acts in a TV show. I hadn't seen him in a long time , but I'd been watching episodes of the show almost daily , sohen he showd up I could only see him as his TV character an not as my friend. I endd up calling him looool by his character's name. real FML

#21114249
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40260) - you deserved it (13102)

On 04/16/2014 at 12:13am - misc - by Confused (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to tell my ex that I'm pregnant with his baby. I sent him a casual "Hey :)" text to try to ease into things. He replied, "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?" and ended up threatening to make my life hell if I don't tell my new boyfriend that the child is his. FML

#21105190
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41653) - you deserved it (12902)

On 04/05/2014 at 1:48pm - work - by =( (woman) - United States (Texas)

TODAY, IN AN ATTEMPT TO POTTY TRAIN MAH STEP-SON, MAH BOYFRIEND AN I PUT UNDERWEAR ON HIM, HOPING THAT WHEN HE PEED HIMSELF, HE WOULD REALIZE USING THE POTTY IS THE WAY TO GO. INSTEAD, HE PEED WHILE SITTING ON THE COUCH, GOT UP, TOOK OFF THE UNDERWEAR, AN THEN SWITCHED SEATS. FML

#21106771
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37191) - you deserved it (12050)

On 04/07/2014 at 1:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)



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