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April 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was working at a coffee shop. I was serving a customer when a cockroach appeard out of nowhere, and I screamd. Customers aren't supposd to know about the bugs so I had to lie and say I spilld coffee on myself, and servd the customer while I felt the bug climbing up my leg. FML

Today.. . mah teen son gave me the completed manuscript of the novel he's been working on for 4 years . Surprised an excited that he showed so much dedication to something.. . I volunteered to read it . I'm only on page 16 an it's absolute drivel.. . with grammar that makes mah eyes bleed . Only 281 pages to go . FML

#21120593
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39421) - you deserved it (6075)

On 04/23/2014 at 3:17am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I went to ma crus's ouse . We were watcing a movieen suddenly e started kissing me . As it deepened e began to feel around . He was groping ma armpit teole time but I was too embarrassed tat ma underarm could pass for ma boobs to redirect im . FML

#21104962
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47158) - you deserved it (7681)

On 04/05/2014 at 3:14am - intimacy - by armtits and big pits - United States (Florida)

Today, I was hanging out with my friends, an we got the idea to do some improv comedy together 4 a laugh!! Barely two minute into our fake political debate, looool everyone had apparently forgotten it was all a joke!! Raging ensued, an a viciou fight quickly followed!! FML

#21127290
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34515) - you deserved it (7731)

On 04/30/2014 at 4:56pm - health - by idiotfucks (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I had to convince my 3-year-old son that there were monster in the house just so he would lie in bed and cuddle me. FML

#21112742
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35161) - you deserved it (25628)

On 04/14/2014 at 12:57pm - kids - by tinytiny1124 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while at my brother's funeral, my grlfriend decided to tell me she's been sleeping with him . FML

#21126504
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54304) - you deserved it (3506)

On 04/29/2014 at 6:40pm - love - by loserman - United States (Texas)

Today, I jokd to a client tat every time I see is name, I start singing te song 'Dr Jones' by Aqua. He lookd blankly at me, so I broke into song, 'Dr Jones, Dr Jones, calling Dr Jones... ' He still lookd blankly, but now also utterly orrifid, as were te rest of te waiting room. real FML

#21119159
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32355) - you deserved it (10442)

On 04/21/2014 at 5:26pm - work - by banana_tree - United Kingdom

Today, mah boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we looool got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML

#21118643
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48812) - you deserved it (7087)

On 04/21/2014 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Taylor - United States (Iowa)

Today , when I went to the shopping centre , the automatic door wouldn't open fir me. I had to stand there and wait until someone else walked by to open it fir me. I suffer from dwarfism and this is a daily occurrence. FML

#21118654
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52608) - you deserved it (4013)

On 04/21/2014 at 12:11am - misc - by shorty (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today , ma Spanis teacer imitated te sound of a coffee grinder , and ten said in Spanis , "OK , all of u do it." I did looool it , tinking everyone else would too . I was te only one in te classo'd understood te Spanis part . fat FML

#21121714
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41333) - you deserved it (4766)

On 04/24/2014 at 11:32am - work - by me - United States (Kentucky)

Taday I went on a date with my boyfriend to our local park.. . and I playfully climbed into one of the baby swings . I planned on having him push me.. . not getting stuck and having to be cut free from the seathile he laughed . FML

#21108537
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23711) - you deserved it (38224)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:50pm - love - by BabyButt - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I decided to go to a therapy group to help with mah anxiety an to meet people who felt similar. I joked with mah friend that no one would turn up as people might feel anxious about going. I was right. I was the only one there. FML

#21113050
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38017) - you deserved it (3444)

On 04/14/2014 at 7:34pm - misc - by all by myself (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I realized that mah boyfriend is so obsessed with tickling me that mah body has developed a conditioned response. Now I flinch every time he touches me, no matterhat we're doing. FML

#21111720
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41303) - you deserved it (4067)

On 04/13/2014 at 5:33am - love - by Ticklish - United States (Iowa)



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