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February 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went on a blind date. At the end of the night, I told him I had a surprisingly great time. He replied, "Yeah, that was fun. You're really funny and smart. If you were pretty, I'd totally go out with you again." FML

#21064082
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54621) - you deserved it (4859)

On 02/18/2014 at 12:45am - love - by fiercehawk (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was singing in the shower but couldn't hit the higher notes. My wife complained and 2 minutes later she ran a tap causing my shower to go freezing. I shrieked. My wife said my pitch was still wrong. FML

#21048056
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41881) - you deserved it (8443)

On 02/02/2014 at 11:53am - misc - by deargodthepain (man) - United States

Today, a robin flew into my window and died. My mom, being a biology teacher, thought it would be a great experience for my brother and me to dissect it on the kitchen table. She threatened to ground us if we didn't do it. FML

#21054692
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43130) - you deserved it (3871)

On 02/08/2014 at 6:24pm - animals - by sciencesadness (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, during class our teacher asked us, "Who is Uncle Sam?" A girl answered, "He's the guy who founded KFC, right?" I'm in an AP class and have to put up with these morons constantly. FML

#21071374
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42480) - you deserved it (4201)

On 02/25/2014 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that I'm the only person in my family that our new cat likes. She sleeps on my bed and always sits in my lap and despises everyone else. I'm allergic to cats. FML

#21070365
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45001) - you deserved it (4292)

On 02/24/2014 at 2:05pm - animals - by Good choice cat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a swim meet. I asked my friend if he could be my wingman and help me get a date with a girl I really liked. I told him my plan, and as I finished and turned to go to her, I noticed her standing right there, listening in on the whole conversation. FML

#21055088
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44237) - you deserved it (12959)

On 02/09/2014 at 2:12am - love - by look before you speak - United States

Today, at the grocery store, an elderly woman asked for help with some tea. I lent her a hand, spending a good twenty minutes reading different labels out loud until she found one she liked. After she was done, she handed me a pamphlet and said, "You're a nice girl. I hope you don't go to hell." FML

#21050005
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43123) - you deserved it (4601)

On 02/04/2014 at 1:16am - misc - by Lithiac - United States (Florida)

Today, I was chilling out with my friend in a parking lot, when a police officer came up to the vehicle and suspiciously asked what we were up to. My friend sarcastically said, "Uh, doing drugs? Planning a drive-by? Haha!" We soon found ourselves in the back of a cop car. FML

#21067749
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36881) - you deserved it (17231)

On 02/21/2014 at 4:37pm - misc - by Cuntface McGee (man) - Romania (Cluj)

Today, I'm stuck in a hotel with my psychotic mom, all because she swore there were "demonic" noises coming from our oven. Yeah, our oven is totally possessed, you idiot. FML

#21061598
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40019) - you deserved it (4592)

On 02/15/2014 at 3:51pm - misc - by fuck my goddamn life (man) - United States

Today, my boss fired me. I can't really explain the slap I gave him for it, though. FML

#21072136
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24176) - you deserved it (35623) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/26/2014 at 4:45am - work - by sistermonster (woman) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I was driving along, and went to spit out my window. My window was up. This happened in heavy traffic. People saw. FML

#21070244
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19223) - you deserved it (49120)

On 02/24/2014 at 10:21am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, during a lecture, my teacher jokingly talked about the time he was best buds with George Washington. Another student then asked, "Really? You knew him?" I'm in an advanced placement U.S. history class. FML

#21065125
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41817) - you deserved it (3551)

On 02/19/2014 at 12:12am - work - by Dsark (man) - United States (California)

Today, I invited my best friend to sleep on my couch while he looks for a new place. He walked inside, dropped his stuff on the floor and asked me my policy on hookers. I laughed it off as a joke. Half an hour later my doorbell rang. He took my laughter as a yes. FML

#21047796
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41626) - you deserved it (6390)

On 02/02/2014 at 1:33am - misc - by tsukinoie - United States



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