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February 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mother-in-law tried to "accidentally" run me over. FML

#21052599
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45821) - you deserved it (4041)

On 02/06/2014 at 6:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about some recent family drama my sister has been causing. He quickly lost interest and started jacking off right next to me. FML

#21071183
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44489) - you deserved it (7818)

On 02/25/2014 at 11:59am - love - by jill (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I accidentally asked the cashier at Wendy's how much their 99 cent chicken nuggets were. I guess he is still laughing at me. FML

#21056193
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37827) - you deserved it (19807)

On 02/10/2014 at 10:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend he was like an animal in bed. He responded saying I was like a dead animal in bed. FML

#21052943
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47392) - you deserved it (16935)

On 02/06/2014 at 11:48pm - intimacy - by cryface (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mum asked me how the guinea pig was doing. We don't have a guinea pig. Turns out she had volunteered me to look after the next door neighbor's guinea pig when they were away and 'forgot' to tell me. They have been gone two weeks. FML

#21071021
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51146) - you deserved it (3647)

On 02/25/2014 at 4:59am - animals - by HelpMe (man) - United Kingdom (Scottish Borders, The)

Today, after getting back from my interior design class, I told my husband that I learned the golden rule for home decor: "Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful." He looked at me dead in the eyes, and didn't say a word. FML

#21068258
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36388) - you deserved it (6304)

On 02/22/2014 at 6:01am - misc - by housedoctor (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, while at a funeral for a distant family member, I was giving my condolences to the family. When one of them asked how I was doing, I replied with, "I'm still alive!", which is one of my standard responses due to being a cashier and being asked that question a hundred times a day. FML

Today, I was singing while driving through the car park. I blacked out trying to hit a high note, and ended up bashing into another car. FML

#21063366
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23615) - you deserved it (40766)

On 02/17/2014 at 12:43pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at the mall with a couple of friends when we saw a couple of cute boys. I made eye contact with the cutest one. Flustered, I giggled, only to send a wad of snot flying out of my nose. FML

#21067978
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44475) - you deserved it (7839)

On 02/21/2014 at 9:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was breast feeding my son. Out of nowhere, he bit my nipple hard, causing me to scream in pain. He giggled with my nipple still between his teeth. FML

Today, I was on a date, when I suddenly choked on my own saliva and coughed so hard that I passed out. FML

Today, I was driving along when I noticed a kid struggling to push his car up the crest of a hill. I jumped out to help him, and he acted surprised to see me. Once we got the car over the hill, it rolled on down. I then saw that no one was actually in the driver's seat. I'd helped a vandal. FML

Today, I was watching TV, when I heard a blood-curdling scream from my boyfriend upstairs. It sounded like he was being murdered with a rusty fork, and I rushed to see what the hell was going on, hitting my shin against the stairs in the process. He'd stubbed his toe. FML

#21064600
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40806) - you deserved it (5491)

On 02/18/2014 at 4:15pm - health - by dating a pussy (woman) - United States (Tennessee)



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