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February 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up with a strange and itchy feeling in my anus. When I told my boyfriend about it, he started laughing. I still don't know what he did. FML

#21068972
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54512) - you deserved it (6420)

On 02/22/2014 at 11:40pm - intimacy - by dontgothere (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, as usual, I stress ate. After having my exams prolonged for an extra week, I ate three extremely large packs of Skittles, and then threw them all up. Taste the rainbow, puke the rainbow. FML

#21048665
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40306) - you deserved it (15058)

On 02/02/2014 at 10:26pm - health - by Sad Student - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I proudly informed my grandma that I now have a girlfriend. My grandpa overheard and said how surprising that was, given how expensive blowup dolls are. He and my grandma then both laughed out loud. FML

#21061712
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46324) - you deserved it (5918)

On 02/15/2014 at 6:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, out of boredom, I built my cat a little fort. Later, I decided to crawl inside to pet her, but as soon as I stuck my head in, she clawed me. I guess I'm not allowed in, then. FML

#21061796
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40885) - you deserved it (8901)

On 02/15/2014 at 7:50pm - animals - by unloved cat owner - United States (California)

Today, my mom made a Facebook status about me: "My daughter is on her rags and won't shut the fuck up #annoyingbitch". FML

#21057121
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49907) - you deserved it (8384)

On 02/11/2014 at 11:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, due to the dry weather, my nose became dry and began to bleed so I plugged it with toilet paper and went about my business. Forgetting about it, I later went out to smoke a cigarette. Not paying attention, I lit the toilet paper on fire as well. FML

#21050725
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37441) - you deserved it (42712)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:48pm - health - by anonymous - United States

Today, my house is on lockdown. I recently moved to Georgia from Rhode Island to be with my boyfriend. The state is on high alert for an ice storm. I'm stuck inside with my terrified boyfriend, who's calling it "the storm of the century". I used to walk to school in this weather. FML

#21058111
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48969) - you deserved it (5595)

On 02/12/2014 at 1:25pm - misc - by Stuck - United States (Georgia)

Today, frustrated that my boyfriend never gives me any orgasms when we make love, I tried politely hinting that he needs to improve. To start with, I said maybe he should be more spontaneous in bed. He replied, "What, like putting it in your ass? Gotcha." Great. FML

#21074161
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52010) - you deserved it (15680)

On 02/28/2014 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, whilst getting out of the shower, I tripped on the lip of the siding, bruising my middle toe. I fell, and in doing so, squished my cat. She won't even make eye contact and keeps wheezing. I have a feeling she is plotting my death. FML

Today, I was walking home, when a car heading the other way hit a traffic cone. I must have been an asshole in a previous life, because the universe decided to make sure the cone flew into the side of my head. The bystanders were shocked for all of two seconds before laughing. FML

#21068594
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44324) - you deserved it (4152)

On 02/22/2014 at 4:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out the real reason my boyfriend kept starting fights with me, and why my best friend kept telling me to break up with him. It was so they could turn their affair into a proper relationship, then twist it around to make me look like a bitch for dumping him. FML

#21058247
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61525) - you deserved it (4568)

On 02/12/2014 at 4:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I opened up a snapchat from my best friend. I received a full and detailed view of her and her boyfriend having sex. All I wanted to know was how her Valentine's Day dinner went. FML

#21060866
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50812) - you deserved it (8837)

On 02/14/2014 at 10:21pm - intimacy - by waymoreiwanted (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend and I made love. She stared at her One Direction poster the whole time. FML

#21046460
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56477) - you deserved it (12111)

On 01/31/2014 at 6:50pm - intimacy - by mylifesucks (man) - Sent from mobile version



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