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January 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was helping my elderly neighbor carry her groceries into her kitchen. When I finished, she sighed and said, "You're such a sweet girl. It's just a shame about your face." FML

#21040445
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47016) - you deserved it (3627)

On 01/26/2014 at 8:08am - misc - by neighbor - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to explain to my parents why it is inappropriate to take selfies at a funeral. FML

#21018330
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45966) - you deserved it (3967)

On 01/05/2014 at 9:54pm - kids - by rain1 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML

#21015691
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64495) - you deserved it (7588)

On 01/03/2014 at 5:08pm - intimacy - by notsohandy (man) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, I went to the health department to get on some birth control. I left the health department without birth control, and with the news that I'm pregnant. FML

#21034014
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45550) - you deserved it (30890)

On 01/20/2014 at 3:23pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, in revenge for being grounded for bullying a kid at school, my eight-year-old son flung a handful of Lego in my path as I walked barefoot into the kitchen. I'm still in pain. 5ML

#21038562
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43127) - you deserved it (8470)

On 01/24/2014 at 6:10pm - kids - by limping (man) - Canada

Today, I asked my mum when she gets the urge to smoke. The answer I was looking for was "after I eat" or maybe even "when I'm tired". What I got was "every second since you were born". FML

#21022393
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41815) - you deserved it (5154)

On 01/09/2014 at 11:01am - love - by BornToBeABurden (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, it's my 8 year anniversary. My boyfriend's "romantic" gesture for the occasion was to toss a few McDonald's coupons at me and tell me to get whatever I wanted. FML

#21044284
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44832) - you deserved it (6918)

On 01/29/2014 at 4:28pm - love - by CUNTCUNTCUNT (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my roommate showed me a video of a cockroach crawling all over my face while I was asleep in the lounge. FML

#21041659
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47380) - you deserved it (3971)

On 01/27/2014 at 9:40am - animals - by mac - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I decided to dye my hair blue. The result is slightly different than I expected: my white bathroom is now blue, and so are my skin and nails. The only thing that isn't blue is my hair, which is now green. FML

#21036650
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40062) - you deserved it (19412)

On 01/22/2014 at 10:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I learned that my new parakeet hates her reflection, and will screech loudly day and night unless I take the mirror out. My other parakeet loves the mirror and constantly cries out when I remove it. I can't win. FML

#21021435
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44252) - you deserved it (5763)

On 01/08/2014 at 3:27pm - animals - by bird - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years finally proposed to me at the park we first met in. As I was about to say yes, a huge fly flew straight into my mouth. I ruined the moment by choking on it and eventually spitting it out on him. I think he's rethinking the proposal. FML

#21025169
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49103) - you deserved it (4550)

On 01/12/2014 at 12:26am - love - by spitball101 - Australia

Today, my grandfather told me that I was ugly. When my mom found out, she said that "old people are allowed to tell the truth". FML

#21028123
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46321) - you deserved it (4508)

On 01/14/2014 at 9:38pm - misc - by Pop - United States (New York)

Today, my 175-pound rottweiler I've raised since a puppy watched me get jumped and robbed of my phone and money in my yard. An hour later, he hopped the fence and chased the mail man down the street after he leaned on the fence for a second. FML

#21021631
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47079) - you deserved it (4753)

On 01/08/2014 at 6:02pm - animals - by Zach Got Robbed (man) - United States (New Jersey)



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