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January 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I told my friend I would pay him to ask out the ugliest girl he knew. He asked out my girlfriend. FML

#21039900
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25590) - you deserved it (50168)

On 01/25/2014 at 7:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was getting ready for a night out with the girls, and without any hint of trickery, just wanting an honest answer, I asked my boyfriend how I looked in the dress I chose. He immediately dropped to his knees, yelled, "NOOOOOOOOO!" and calmly left the room. FML

#21024776
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37905) - you deserved it (8301)

On 01/11/2014 at 6:13pm - misc - by -_-" (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that my new parakeet hates her reflection, and will screech loudly day and night unless I take the mirror out. My other parakeet loves the mirror and constantly cries out when I remove it. I can't win. FML

#21021435
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44352) - you deserved it (5769)

On 01/08/2014 at 3:27pm - animals - by bird - United States (Michigan)

Today, after 3 months of no orgasms, I was in the shower, working to rectify that. As I was seconds away from coming, my dad loudly knocked on the door and demanded to know how much longer I was going to take. Probably another 3 months now, dad. FML

#21039460
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53867) - you deserved it (9054)

On 01/25/2014 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by sally - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to explain to my parents why it is inappropriate to take selfies at a funeral. FML

#21018330
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46073) - you deserved it (3975)

On 01/05/2014 at 9:54pm - kids - by rain1 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML

#21016902
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46823) - you deserved it (5443)

On 01/04/2014 at 6:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I puked up an anti-nausea pill. FML

#21026645
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51752) - you deserved it (4673)

On 01/13/2014 at 3:35pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my boyfriend of 6 years told me that since I've proven my loyalty and faithfully stuck by his side, he has no reason to ever consider marrying me, because "It's not like you're going anywhere, honey." He seems not to understand why I am upset by this. FML

#21037274
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50863) - you deserved it (5313)

On 01/23/2014 at 3:57pm - love - by heartbrokenhaley - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because she found some lesbian porn on my computer. Her reasoning? That I must secretly be gay. FML

#21042109
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47029) - you deserved it (10739)

On 01/27/2014 at 6:32pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, school was out because of snow. My dad walked in my room and shouted "Why are you home?!" I told him why, and he replied, "Then get out the damn house and play in the snow." He tossed me out in nothing but my shorts. FML

#21037332
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39386) - you deserved it (4924)

On 01/23/2014 at 4:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my grandfather told me that I was ugly. When my mom found out, she said that "old people are allowed to tell the truth". FML

#21028123
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47113) - you deserved it (4575)

On 01/14/2014 at 9:38pm - misc - by Pop - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend told me the reason why my credit card mysteriously maxed out 2 months ago 'might have been' because she posted a picture of it on Facebook. I ordered a new credit card without the custom picture of us immediately. She broke up with me. FML

#21035364
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53592) - you deserved it (5873)

On 01/21/2014 at 6:59pm - love - by FacebookStrikesAgain (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, and for the past week, my dog started barking at my door when I start masturbating. I think my mom is starting to suspect. FML

#21037288
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47753) - you deserved it (10637)

On 01/23/2014 at 4:06pm - intimacy - by fappy dog - United States (Illinois)



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