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January 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a girl I've never met before came up to me and punched me in the face, because she wanted to get suspended. FML

#21036028
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52188) - you deserved it (4093)

On 01/22/2014 at 11:30am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I've had my tenth "Christmas" dinner since Christmas last took place. My mum has gone nuts and keeps playing Christmas music, making these dinners, and refusing to let me take down the Christmas decorations. My dad is too whipped to save us from this hell. FML

#21016807
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47480) - you deserved it (4543)

On 01/04/2014 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Today, I found a great recipe for dinner, and emailed it to myself with the subject "Dinner tonight". Hours later, I'd forgotten all about it, opened my emails, saw the subject line, and thought someone was asking me out to dinner. I got really excited until I saw the sender address. FML

#21019190
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48329) - you deserved it (15162)

On 01/06/2014 at 3:57pm - misc - by Mels (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my wife and I were watching a football game. While someone was about to score, she started screaming, "Go!" and "Come on! You can do it! Go baby, go!" My first thought was that I wished I could still make her scream like that. FML

#21026614
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57171) - you deserved it (12257)

On 01/13/2014 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my grandpa took my face in both hands, kissed me on the lips, said "Now you can tell all your friends you've had your first kiss," and walked out of the room. FML

#21023495
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51071) - you deserved it (4805)

On 01/10/2014 at 11:47am - misc - by wtf - United States (New York)

Today, after three weeks of fighting with my husband, I found out that he really didn't create an account on a website for cheaters and charge the bill to his credit card. Our daughter did it as a prank, and only confessed because our fighting was stressing her out. FML

#21031747
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52528) - you deserved it (6209)

On 01/18/2014 at 1:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my lips were dry and chapped, so I asked if I could use some of my friend's chapstick. She didn't mind, so I quickly put some on. Only later did I notice that my lips were sparkly. Turns out it was glitter balm. Now everyone calls me "princess." FML

#21021931
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42503) - you deserved it (13266)

On 01/08/2014 at 10:23pm - misc - by chapstick (man) - United States (California)

Today, my plans for having sex with my girlfriend were thwarted for the sixth time in a row by my own mother. I found out later that she's been reading my texts so she knew when to drop by and ruin everything. FML

#21035329
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55550) - you deserved it (11055)

On 01/21/2014 at 6:26pm - intimacy - by MM - United States (Maine)

Today, my boyfriend saw a YouTube video of a guy throwing boiling water into the cold air, with the water immediately turning to ice and vapor. He copied it, but only succeeded in dousing himself with boiling water, then making me drive his idiot self to the hospital. FML

#21023480
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46526) - you deserved it (5471)

On 01/10/2014 at 11:12am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I lost my virginity. We did it on the floor in my step-sister's room, and the entire time he kept pushing my head into the carpet. I lost my V-card but gained rug burn on my face that looks like a fatal disease. FML

#21016206
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48979) - you deserved it (22260)

On 01/04/2014 at 1:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I lost a bet with my grandma, and now she's coming with me on my next date. FML

#21020870
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37843) - you deserved it (33749)

On 01/07/2014 at 11:21pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

#21016853
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63577) - you deserved it (8472)

On 01/04/2014 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by fuckmuppeter512 (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I realized that if you are dreaming that you have diarrhea, you probably have diarrhea. FML

#21030771
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46359) - you deserved it (4269)

On 01/17/2014 at 11:24am - health - by crap - United States (Ohio)



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