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January 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend finally succeeded in unhooking my bra with one hand, excitedly exclaiming, "Boobies be free!" FML

#21043704
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45307) - you deserved it (11690)

On 01/29/2014 at 12:13am - love - by freed - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dog found out how to turn my Xbox off. So whenever he wants attention, guess what he does. FML

#21019316
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51694) - you deserved it (18419)

On 01/06/2014 at 6:00pm - animals - by Z3R0G5 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML

#21029770
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54519) - you deserved it (12324)

On 01/16/2014 at 12:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at a basketball game. Sitting in the bleachers, I looked over at my friend and said, "Number 33 has a really cute butt." The man in front of us turned around, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "Thanks." Number 33's dad was a very proud father. FML

#21017330
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48927) - you deserved it (13295)

On 01/05/2014 at 12:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, it was my birthday, so when I woke up, I came downstairs yelling, "ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY, IS A BIG BOOTY HOE," only to find that my family had thrown me a surprise party. All my grandparents were at the bottom of the stairs. FML

#21025933
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33477) - you deserved it (41804)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:40pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my family and I were having turkey for dinner. My boyfriend leaned in towards me and muttered, "I'll stuff your turkey later". Everyone heard and the whole room went dead silent. FML

Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML

#21028949
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63028) - you deserved it (5611)

On 01/15/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by DisturbedMan (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my daughter started speaking with hashtags. I told her to knock it off, to which she replied, "You don't get it, mom - hashtag white girl probs." Hashtag FML

#21016204
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52922) - you deserved it (6038)

On 01/04/2014 at 1:06am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I texted my boyfriend of two years and asked if he wanted to go to ball with me. His response was "The person you are trying to message cancelled their phone service and moved to Mexico. Taco taco burrito." I'll take that as a no. FML

#21024175
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48389) - you deserved it (5432)

On 01/11/2014 at 12:55am - love - by rollergirl13 - United States (Alaska)

Today, my friends and I went camping in the woods. I fell asleep first. Waking up hours later to them bunched up together in the middle of the tent and me half-way outside, I confronted them about it. They admitted, "We heard a bear so we needed a sacrifice." FML

#21020901
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50063) - you deserved it (5311)

On 01/07/2014 at 11:37pm - misc - by bear food - United States (California)

Today, there was a forest fire in my town. I was still forced to go to school, as it was safer. A lot of people decided not to go, and we ended up doing nothing but watching the news reports. There, I got to see my house burning on live TV. FML

#21030359
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71188) - you deserved it (4404)

On 01/16/2014 at 10:42pm - misc - by Fire sucks. (man) - United States

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML

#21015691
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66592) - you deserved it (7803)

On 01/03/2014 at 5:08pm - intimacy - by notsohandy (man) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, my son was playing The Sims, when I saw him remove the door to a room and set it on fire with a Sim trapped inside. I chuckled at first, until I saw that the Sim was me. Meanwhile, my wife's Sim was happily painting in the next room, not giving a crap. All too accurate, sadly. FML

#21015673
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48964) - you deserved it (5260)

On 01/03/2014 at 4:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom



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