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January 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was helping my elderly neighbor carry her groceries into her kitchen. When I finished, she sighed and said, "You're such a sweet girl. It's just a shame about your face." FML

#21040445
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47025) - you deserved it (3627)

On 01/26/2014 at 8:08am - misc - by neighbor - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to explain to my parents why it is inappropriate to take selfies at a funeral. FML

#21018330
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45978) - you deserved it (3967)

On 01/05/2014 at 9:54pm - kids - by rain1 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML

#21015691
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64517) - you deserved it (7589)

On 01/03/2014 at 5:08pm - intimacy - by notsohandy (man) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, a guy I like asked me to a dance. Trying to act modest and at the same time compliment him, I told him, "You could do so much better, though." After thinking for a moment, he replied, "You're right, I could. Never mind," and walked away. FML

#21020576
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29239) - you deserved it (56491)

On 01/07/2014 at 7:39pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I asked my mum when she gets the urge to smoke. The answer I was looking for was "after I eat" or maybe even "when I'm tired". What I got was "every second since you were born". FML

#21022393
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41824) - you deserved it (5157)

On 01/09/2014 at 11:01am - love - by BornToBeABurden (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, in revenge for being grounded for bullying a kid at school, my eight-year-old son flung a handful of Lego in my path as I walked barefoot into the kitchen. I'm still in pain. 5ML

#21038562
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43136) - you deserved it (8471)

On 01/24/2014 at 6:10pm - kids - by limping (man) - Canada

Today, I went to the health department to get on some birth control. I left the health department without birth control, and with the news that I'm pregnant. FML

#21034014
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45557) - you deserved it (30896)

On 01/20/2014 at 3:23pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my roommate showed me a video of a cockroach crawling all over my face while I was asleep in the lounge. FML

#21041659
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47388) - you deserved it (3971)

On 01/27/2014 at 9:40am - animals - by mac - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I decided to dye my hair blue. The result is slightly different than I expected: my white bathroom is now blue, and so are my skin and nails. The only thing that isn't blue is my hair, which is now green. FML

#21036650
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40067) - you deserved it (19413)

On 01/22/2014 at 10:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, it's my 8 year anniversary. My boyfriend's "romantic" gesture for the occasion was to toss a few McDonald's coupons at me and tell me to get whatever I wanted. FML

#21044284
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44836) - you deserved it (6920)

On 01/29/2014 at 4:28pm - love - by CUNTCUNTCUNT (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I realized I'm so socially awkward that I can't even talk to Siri without stuttering. FML

#21018050
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41128) - you deserved it (5511)

On 01/05/2014 at 4:59pm - love - by stopstutteringforSiri - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that sometimes my nipples taste like onions. FML

#21012735
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47570) - you deserved it (9677)

On 01/01/2014 at 8:26am - intimacy - by Snufflopagus (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I learned that my new parakeet hates her reflection, and will screech loudly day and night unless I take the mirror out. My other parakeet loves the mirror and constantly cries out when I remove it. I can't win. FML

#21021435
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44255) - you deserved it (5764)

On 01/08/2014 at 3:27pm - animals - by bird - United States (Michigan)



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