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January 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my students unanimously agreed, in front of me, that the only reason they take my course is to look at my ass. FML

#21028396
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50579) - you deserved it (11269)

On 01/15/2014 at 12:54am - intimacy - by jseid2 - United States (California)

Today, I found a great recipe for dinner, and emailed it to myself with the subject "Dinner tonight". Hours later, I'd forgotten all about it, opened my emails, saw the subject line, and thought someone was asking me out to dinner. I got really excited until I saw the sender address. FML

#21019190
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43478) - you deserved it (13257)

On 01/06/2014 at 3:57pm - misc - by Mels (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I puked up an anti-nausea pill. FML

#21026645
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46800) - you deserved it (3991)

On 01/13/2014 at 3:35pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my son was playing The Sims, when I saw him remove the door to a room and set it on fire with a Sim trapped inside. I chuckled at first, until I saw that the Sim was me. Meanwhile, my wife's Sim was happily painting in the next room, not giving a crap. All too accurate, sadly. FML

#21015673
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44670) - you deserved it (4813)

On 01/03/2014 at 4:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML

#21020397
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47286) - you deserved it (4298)

On 01/07/2014 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was playing with my little nephew and began to tickle him playfully, even though I know he doesn't like to be tickled. When I was done, he looked me straight in the eye, punched me in the groin, and told me, "No one tickles me". He's six. FML

#21034458
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24673) - you deserved it (38387)

On 01/20/2014 at 10:34pm - kids - by Ginger_Gawd - United States (Florida)

Today, my 7-year-old daughter made a new game: hitting me in the groin when I'm not expecting it. She hunts me in the house, hides around corners, and behind furniture to ambush me. She'll even do it if she catches me napping. I'm a grown man living in fear of a little girl. FML

#21029770
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48888) - you deserved it (10474)

On 01/16/2014 at 12:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I shut one of my breasts in my car door. FML

#21031414
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47289) - you deserved it (8639)

On 01/18/2014 at 1:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment, due to the fact that five raccoons have decided to sit outside my only door and prevent me from getting out. Every time I look at one, they hiss at me. FML

#21023350
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39936) - you deserved it (4701)

On 01/10/2014 at 6:15am - animals - by RaccoonFever - United States (California)

Today, to avoid a guy who's been creepily following me around school lately, I ducked into the girl's bathroom. After few minutes, he stuck his head in with his eyes closed and asked if I was done yet. FML

#21021456
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57466) - you deserved it (3795)

On 01/08/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by stalked - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to get my first tattoo. Before we started, the tattooist told me to just relax and embrace the pain. I guess I did that too well; I kept getting an erection throughout. FML

#21030923
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38844) - you deserved it (7498)

On 01/17/2014 at 3:56pm - health - by sausages (man) - Macedonia (Karpos)

Today, I came home from the army and explained to my family how tough it was there. Then, as I was walking away, I stubbed my toe on the couch, fell and cried. FML

#21036979
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40937) - you deserved it (13762)

On 01/23/2014 at 7:53am - misc - by MarBlu - United States

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to a figure holding a knife above me. After I screamed in terror, the figure burst into laughter. It was my mom. She did this as payback for me not washing the dishes last night after making food. FML

#21016927
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38265) - you deserved it (15060)

On 01/04/2014 at 6:43pm - misc - by awkwardpartybear (woman) - United States (Florida)



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