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January 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I mentioned to my boyfriend that I want to start working out and get rid of my holiday weight. His response? "Okay, just don't join a gym. People will have to see you there." FML

#21020071
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44628) - you deserved it (4825)

On 01/07/2014 at 7:41am - love - by fat - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my dad asked me to lend him some money to buy his medication, since he's all but broke right now. He returned with nothing but a bottle of tequila. FML

#21027843
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47494) - you deserved it (8226)

On 01/14/2014 at 5:06pm - money - by chiktikka (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my grandma said, "I know you don't have any plans tonight. Do you want to go to bingo with me?" I said sure out of pity, and ended up being her designated driver after she got wasted later in the evening. FML

#21030815
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40477) - you deserved it (5108)

On 01/17/2014 at 12:35pm - misc - by my cheese grater + your dick (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I told my parents I was thinking about joining the army. They looked at each other and laughed for about 10 minutes straight. I wasn't joking. FML

#21036142
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44426) - you deserved it (5627)

On 01/22/2014 at 2:23pm - misc - by IMSERIOUS - United States (California)

Today, my boss hung a dartboard in his office. It has a printout of my employee photo taped to it. FML

#21023884
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40768) - you deserved it (4638)

On 01/10/2014 at 8:20pm - work - by lk mm, n vwls (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my mom made me go shopping with her. It was freezing out, but she didn't wear a coat, boasting that she doesn't feel the chill like I do. By the time we drove home she was whining about freezing to death, and now I'm stuck in a house whose heating is set to "inferno". FML

#21035197
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41521) - you deserved it (4042)

On 01/21/2014 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Iceland

Today, I tried proving to my best friend that I wasn't a lesbian by telling her I once liked her brother. She was mad because I never told her and now she's calling him. FML

#21013942
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40339) - you deserved it (6142)

On 01/02/2014 at 4:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, my mom walked into my room to talk to me. I was surprised because we don't talk much. I was left with a smile on my face after she left, until I realized she'd stolen all the candy on my desk while I wasn't looking. FML

#21041865
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44848) - you deserved it (5113)

On 01/27/2014 at 2:26pm - love - by love you too mommy - United States (New York)

Today, my neighbor's sons decided it would be funny to throw rocks at my house. I went outside to scold them and saw my other neighbors gathered around, watching. They didn't stop them because they thought I wasn't home. FML

#21014729
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40699) - you deserved it (3558)

On 01/02/2014 at 9:24pm - misc - by Frustrated (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a big final project due for class. None of my project partners would help me yesterday, because they were convinced we'd have a snow day. Unfortunately, we didn't have a snow day, and we failed. FML

Today, my mom took a picture of me. All she could say about the picture was, "At least your sister is pretty." 5ML

#21038006
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42430) - you deserved it (3852)

On 01/24/2014 at 7:36am - love - by MH - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I had an oral English exam to present in front of three teachers. Halfway through, I completely lost my voice. They failed me because they thought I was trying to play a prank. FML

#21043493
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45089) - you deserved it (3695)

On 01/28/2014 at 10:09pm - work - by smileydays - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at work teaching a cooking class, one of the kids asked if they could use a knife to help me chop vegetables. I said no, because it was very sharp and only staff members are allowed to use them. Just as I said that, the knife sliced through the tip of my thumb. FML

#21042937
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41572) - you deserved it (11452)

On 01/28/2014 at 12:06pm - health - by just the tip, though - United States (Georgia)



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