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January 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mom took a picture of me. All she could say about the picture was, "At least your sister is pretty." 5ML

#21038006
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36860) - you deserved it (3076)

On 01/24/2014 at 7:36am - love - by MH - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I mentioned to my boyfriend that I want to start working out and get rid of my holiday weight. His response? "Okay, just don't join a gym. People will have to see you there." FML

#21020071
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38867) - you deserved it (3890)

On 01/07/2014 at 7:41am - love - by fat - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my dad asked me to lend him some money to buy his medication, since he's all but broke right now. He returned with nothing but a bottle of tequila. FML

#21027843
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41328) - you deserved it (6998)

On 01/14/2014 at 5:06pm - money - by chiktikka (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, it was my first day at my new job. Not only does everyone hate me for replacing a guy they all liked, I managed to clog the only functional toilet there. The glares and threatening head-shaking they keep doing probably means I'm screwed. FML

#21023700
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38089) - you deserved it (5023)

On 01/10/2014 at 4:46pm - work - by shite (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking home from work, when I slipped and fell on a patch of ice. I clambered back to my feet, made it three feet, then slipped and fell again. A guy who'd witnessed the whole thing stuck his head out of his car window and yelled "Dumbasssssss!" FML

#21031072
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38766) - you deserved it (5067)

On 01/17/2014 at 6:28pm - health - by SqueakingRetard (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that even after three years, my boyfriend's mother replies, "Unfortunately" when asked if we are still together. FML

#21034680
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37396) - you deserved it (3256)

On 01/21/2014 at 1:25am - love - by monsterinlaw - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found that I conduct so much static electricity that I'm periodically given a shock by my headphones as I walk with them on. 5ML

#21038657
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30334) - you deserved it (3440)

On 01/24/2014 at 7:34pm - misc - by PangolinScholar (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text message. Every 20 minutes or so, I'll get a notification that I have a new message, and I check it just to find that same message sitting there. I'm being trolled by my own phone. FML

#21012505
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40930) - you deserved it (3070)

On 01/01/2014 at 2:49am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my water pipes froze and burst and I now have to take snow from my back yard and boil it down into water in order to flush my toilet. FML

Today, my 11 month-old son started viciously biting whatever part of my anatomy he can sink his teeth into. He thinks it is hysterical to latch on while I scream helplessly in pain for him to let go. FML

#21012312
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34584) - you deserved it (5123)

On 01/01/2014 at 12:38am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to my first ever job interview. I thought I was doing well, until the recruiter asked why he should hire me. The only thing I could say was "Because I'm really, really nervous right now?" FML

Today, my sister was taking forever in the bathroom, and I jokingly threatened to kick down the door. I rammed into it, and it actually bust almost off its hinges. My sister screamed and our parents came running. Now I'm grounded forever and our bathroom has no door. FML

#21040628
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21277) - you deserved it (40177)

On 01/26/2014 at 1:20pm - misc - by shit (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, on my first day at my new job delivering mail, I was yelled at by a guy, who threatened to shoot me if I "trespassed" on his property. He made me toss his mail toward his porch from the street, before telling me to get lost. FML

#21046250
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35758) - you deserved it (2885)

On 01/31/2014 at 1:46pm - work - by fuckfuck (man) - United States (Arkansas)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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