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December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I overheard my boyfriend bragging to his friend about finally giving me an orgasm yesterday, but that he got scared because my orgasm face made me look like "a camel having a stroke." FML

#21007355
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47249) - you deserved it (5376)

On 12/27/2013 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Jamaica (Saint Andrew)

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to wake me up by sprinkling catnip over me then dropping my cat on top of me. FML

#21007541
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38372) - you deserved it (3506)

On 12/27/2013 at 7:05pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I dyed my hair. And my forehead. And my ears. And my arms. And my hands. FML

Today, I woke up and coughed up the spider I thought I'd killed last night. FML

#20986479
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57052) - you deserved it (4851)

On 12/09/2013 at 4:01pm - misc - by igotpride - United States

Today, I saw the guy who helped me yesterday when I was lost by telling me which bus to take. He came up to me and asked me how it went. I told him that the bus went the exact opposite way I wanted to go. He laughed and said, "I know." FML

Today, I had to basically ground my own husband, after he tricked our 6-year-old son into getting his tongue stuck to a frozen pole. FML

#21000259
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41436) - you deserved it (4408)

On 12/21/2013 at 2:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden

Today, I found out that I take long enough showers for my boyfriend to sleep with my sister and put everything back to normal before I get out. I found out when I needed more shampoo that was in a shopping bag in my room. FML

#20984084
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65072) - you deserved it (5402)

On 12/07/2013 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by mystery - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my neighbor put up an electric fence to keep my five-year-old son out. FML

#20980679
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37986) - you deserved it (12937)

On 12/04/2013 at 5:29pm - kids - by Awkward - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend bought a onesie. He sleeps in it, goes out in it and won't take it off, not even for sex. FML

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me during a funeral. FML

#20999827
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46622) - you deserved it (4065)

On 12/21/2013 at 1:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a nativity play. My husband showed up late and drunk, and I had to explain to him why booming "Yeah! Time to get baby Jesus up in this shit!" when our son was about to go on stage got us kicked out. FML

#21001530
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38927) - you deserved it (3952)

On 12/22/2013 at 4:28pm - kids - by bastard (woman) - United States

Today, while trying to break up with my girlfriend, I somehow ended up begging her not to break up with me. I'm still not sure how that happened. FML

#20988052
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38904) - you deserved it (19725)

On 12/10/2013 at 6:38pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Bangladesh

Today, I was verbally abused by a tourist because neither I nor anyone else in my country can speak "proper English". We're in England - clue's in the name, dipshit. FML

#21009563
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39399) - you deserved it (4017)

On 12/29/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by Kayak (man) - United Kingdom



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