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December 2013

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Today, my grandparents came over to visit. I'm still not sure if they came to see me or my dog. FML

by Anonymous / 12/12/2013 at 6:25pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sang a romantic song I wrote for my girlfriend. She laughed at my soprano. FML

by Anonymous / 12/17/2013 at 8:55pm / China (Shanghai) / Love

Today, I ran for the first time in ages when I saw my bus coming. My loose shoe went flying into a shop doorway, and I tripped into the gutter. FML

by Anonymous / 12/29/2013 at 10:52pm / United States / Health

Today, I had to take an oral examination. I made it to the last part of the exam, then violently threw up in the middle of my answer. FML

by MGDS / 12/14/2013 at 12:52am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my car wouldn't start because of the cold weather. Since I was at a friend's house, I asked him to jump-start it. After taking about ten minutes to start his vehicle and park it by mine, we found that both of our car hoods were frozen shut. FML

by Anonymous / 12/07/2013 at 3:49pm / United States / Transportation

Today, my manager rejected my leave application for Christmas. Later I found out that I'm going to be the only employee working at the office during Christmas. FML

by homerr123 / 12/23/2013 at 12:35pm / India (Maharashtra) / Work

Today, I thought it would be to a good idea to introduce my indoor cat to my dog. The pee stains, multiple scratches, and puncture wounds to my face prove otherwise. FML

by Ramis182 / 12/16/2013 at 3:52am / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, my friends and I had our Christmas party. I ended up being the only one sober, and had to drive each and every person home. There were 15 of us. FML

by good friend / 12/27/2013 at 1:35am / United States (Montana) / Miscellaneous

Today, the only conversation I had with my mother where she didn't explode into a hissy fit was about peanut butter vs. almond butter. And even then she was starting to get mad at me. FML

by anon / 12/27/2013 at 1:40am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a wake. When my dad picked me up, I was still pretty upset. Just when I'd had enough of death, the car hits a raccoon on the way home. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2013 at 11:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a call at 4 in the morning from the security company, saying someone had broken into my workplace. I drove an hour out there, only to find out it was a rat that had set off the alarm. FML

by Anonymous / 12/22/2013 at 1:56am / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, I came home after a long day at work, and decided to tidy up a bit before finally settling down to relax. I went to take the garbage out, when the bag split and out fell the trash along with hundreds of tiny red ants. FML

by Anonymous / 12/17/2013 at 12:20pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 5-year-old decided that it would be a great idea to try to paint her nails in secret. As a result, I now get to learn how to remove copious amounts of dark nail polish from a wide variety of materials, including my apartment's 1/2-inch thick shag rug. FML

by Fortunato_18 / 12/02/2013 at 1:18am / United States / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.