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December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a man started a deep conversation with me at the bus stop about life, death, and the miracles of things we take for granted every day. I was really enjoying it until he looked at his watch and said, "Oh shit, mushrooms make me lose track of time!" and ran off into the night. FML

#20998821
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39707) - you deserved it (4453)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by whatjusthappened (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, at my job as a night janitor, at which I work alone, I saw an old man enter a bathroom. When I went to investigate, it was completely empty. I'm now scared to work. FML

#20987406
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53919) - you deserved it (3396)

On 12/10/2013 at 4:50am - work - by scared shitless (man) - United States (California)

Today, I reduced my psychologist to tears. FML

#20976567
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44044) - you deserved it (4131)

On 12/01/2013 at 1:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

#20982904
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52122) - you deserved it (8510)

On 12/06/2013 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by fuckadaisical (woman) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, I went to take a shower. When I turned it on, no water came out. Only ants. FML

#21006941
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56039) - you deserved it (3580)

On 12/27/2013 at 2:28am - misc - by anon - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I had to pee during a supervised lockdown. I asked my teacher to take me since we couldn't be in the halls alone. Since class was going, she couldn't take me. Much to my dismay, she sent a school-wide email asking for someone to take me to pee. Six teachers took me, including my principal. FML

#20996748
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46087) - you deserved it (4912)

On 12/18/2013 at 4:56am - misc - by Anon - United States (California)

Today, I farted so loud that I woke myself up. And the stranger sitting next to me on the airplane. FML

#20988758
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41999) - you deserved it (6919)

On 12/11/2013 at 8:14am - misc - by pootie (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I received a poorly-written letter from my asshole neighbor in which he threatened to "sew" me because my dog shat on his lawn again. I went over, asked if he needed some wool for his sewing, and told him to stop being an idiot. Now he's apparently hiring a lawyer for real. FML

#20981890
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40892) - you deserved it (22747)

On 12/05/2013 at 5:26pm - misc - by possibly a sweater (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I walked in on my daughter lighting candles around one of her friends, who'd fallen asleep while her other friends chanted something in a different language. They still won't tell me what they were doing. FML

#21001182
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50314) - you deserved it (5003)

On 12/22/2013 at 10:36am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend wants to make a video of us having sex for us to watch later and figure out how to improve our skills in bed. The problem is her choice of cameraman: her uncle. FML

#20978171
204 comments

Today, I took an extra xanax to help with my anxiety, then went to sleep. I guess it was probably too much, because I woke up a few hours later, freaking out and panicking because I was convinced I was a bee trapped in a human body. FML

#21008430
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42530) - you deserved it (9975)

On 12/28/2013 at 4:19pm - health - by beemove (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my cousin started sending sarcastic love messages to me. I replied, with even cheesier lines. Then she rang me saying she was so glad I felt the same way. Turns out she wasn't being sarcastic. FML

#20991120
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50871) - you deserved it (8702)

On 12/13/2013 at 10:10am - love - by wth? - United Kingdom (Rotherham)

Today, my crazy ex-girlfriend legally changed her last name to mine. I'm getting married in a week. FML

#20986172
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53435) - you deserved it (3539)

On 12/09/2013 at 10:10am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States



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