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December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was gushing about my love for Disney princesses when someone told me I "definitely needed to calm down." By whom? A four-year-old girl. FML

Today, I took my cat to the vet's. When the vet took her temperature anally, I couldn't stop laughing. The vet had to ask me to leave the room. FML

Today, I took my younger sister to see Santa for a photo. Santa insisted that I was in the photo too. I wasn't sure why he made such a big deal about it until he groped me while the photo was being taken. FML

Today, my mother told her friends that I work as a call girl. I'm a call center agent. FML

#20989169
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37090) - you deserved it (2909)

On 12/11/2013 at 5:25pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Luxembourg

Today, my girlfriend sent her new boyfriend over to my place to break up with me for her. FML

#20990341
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49104) - you deserved it (3140)

On 12/12/2013 at 4:53pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, I used my vaporiser to make my house smell like lavender while I went to work. My brother thought it would be funny to pee inside it. My whole house now smells like pissy lavender. FML

#20993906
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39106) - you deserved it (3531)

On 12/15/2013 at 9:04pm - kids - by lavenderpiss (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, as I was driving back home from my grandma's, I looked over at the guy in the lane beside me, only to witness him with a sandwich between his teeth and his cock in his free hand. Now I know why I don't leave the city, or even drive, more often. FML

#21006441
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38647) - you deserved it (3958)

On 12/26/2013 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by NNTA (woman) - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, I was admiring a beautiful painting I had hung in my bedroom. My brother kindly pointed out that when flipped upside down, it takes the shape of a lunatic girl with bleeding eyes. Now I can't unsee it. FML

#20994837
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38640) - you deserved it (3837)

On 12/16/2013 at 4:54pm - misc - by nightmarestonite - Canada

Today, my roommate, who happens to be a writer, got so pissed off at his editor that he got drunk, wrapped his arms around my waist, and only stopped when I agreed to spoon him. This is not the first time this has happened either. FML

#20989886
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37842) - you deserved it (5214)

On 12/12/2013 at 3:51am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I discovered the real reason my husband was distraught last week and has been acting moodily ever since. An attractive girl he was secretly having sex chats with online confessed to him that "she" was actually a guy. FML

#21007435
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44742) - you deserved it (4095)

On 12/27/2013 at 4:49pm - love - by -__- (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. He seemed thrilled, and went to buy some wine to celebrate. He left 11 hours ago and won't come back. FML

#20991978
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53634) - you deserved it (7401)

On 12/14/2013 at 2:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my fifteen year old son decided to tell his little five year old sister that Santa isn't real. She now refuses to talk to any of us and thinks "her whole life is a lie". FML

#20983553
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42694) - you deserved it (6412)

On 12/07/2013 at 2:17am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me I'm beautiful. Before I could thank him, he continued, "Too bad it takes a shit-load of makeup." FML

#20986609
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44009) - you deserved it (7097)

On 12/09/2013 at 5:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)



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