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November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

yesterday everything that was beautiful an pure in mah life turnd into a terrible, warpd version of wat it once was. Today, I lost all hope, an no longer believe that life, although sometime shitty, is sweet an worth living. Today, I met mah mother-in-law. looool FML

#20949272
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53012) - you deserved it (5535)

On 11/07/2013 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Derry)

a grl and I were flrting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I askedhat she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flrtatiously and said "Why don't u try it and find out?" I went in 4 a kiss, and she slapped me. FML

#20965644
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56012) - you deserved it (12511)

On 11/21/2013 at 11:10am - misc - by smooth (man) - United States

Today... while teaching juniors about black holes... I said... "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted... "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

#20946225
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44421) - you deserved it (5391)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)

Today , I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of mah foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around , wondering wat mah life would've been like if mah parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven , long-lost ghostly foreskin? mega FML

#20972170
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31168) - you deserved it (14771)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, at work, I had to explain to my co-manager at work wat a period was, after he refused to let an employee go change her tampon. Afterwards, he panicked, saying he thought women made that up so they didn't have to have sex, before trying to send her to the hospital and fainting. We're 24. FML

#20944786
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62398) - you deserved it (4055)

On 11/04/2013 at 12:45am - intimacy - by TheTruthofWomen (woman) - United States

TODAY WHILE I WAS WORKING OUT I WAS LISTENING TO MUSIC WITH MY EARBUDS IN. THE POKÉMON THEME STARTED PLAYING AND I BEGUN SINGING ALONG. IT WASN'T TOO LONG AFTER THAT I REMEMBERED I WAS IN A CROWDED GYM ON A MILITARY BASE. FML

#20940589
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37391) - you deserved it (10651)

On 10/31/2013 at 7:18pm - misc - by GymBattle (man) - United States

TADAY I WAS CLEANING A POCKETKNIFE WEN I NOTICED A SPIDER ON MA LEG. MY FRST REACTION WAS TO STAB IT. FML

#20974086
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40856) - you deserved it (41472)

On 11/28/2013 at 9:05pm - misc - by OuchImAMoron (man) - United States (New Jersey)

TODAY, I WOKA UP FROM A DRUNKAN ONA-NIGHT-STAND. THA PARSON I SLAPT WITH TURND OUT TO BA HAAVILY PRAGNANT. SHA TRID TO CONVINCA MA THAT I AM THA FATHAR AND THAT I PASSD OUT 4 7 MONTHS. FML

Today, I Got A New Cell Phone Number An Sent A Text To Mah Wife. Playing Around, I Said, "Hey Sexy R U Alone Yet? I'm Ready To Come Over." She Responded With, "Hey, Yeah He Is At Work - Did U Get A New Number?" FML

#20941049
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87074) - you deserved it (6211)

On 11/01/2013 at 3:01am - intimacy - by PapaW - United States (Utah)

Today.!! !! in tha lunch lina at school.!! !! a kid litarally ordard a ( hamburgar with axtra swag !! ) FML

#20950369
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44469) - you deserved it (3354)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm - work - by thank god you'll only live once (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at a grocary stora, a man cummad up to ma whila I was picking out applas an whisparad in my aar, ( That's how Snow Whita diad. ) maga FML

#20947922
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43916) - you deserved it (3996)

On 11/06/2013 at 4:16pm - misc - by awkward - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my car keys r in my house and my house keys r in my car, and I'm in neither . FML

#20943997
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48058) - you deserved it (8627)

On 11/03/2013 at 3:18pm - misc - by Argh (man) - France (Poitou-Charentes)



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