Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my bully made me cry once again. It's been going on for weeks. I don't know who to turn to; I can't say anything because I'd get into even more trouble. He even stole my Nintendo 3DS and won't give it back. My bully is my girlfriend's son. He's 10. FML

#20904358
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31728) - you deserved it (52140)

On 10/02/2013 at 4:12am - kids - by PickedOnByDamien (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I came across some bubble wrap. Turned out it was a special type of bubble wrap that cannot be popped. FML

#20924315
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48172) - you deserved it (4363)

On 10/17/2013 at 6:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was playing soccer when a player kicked the ball at my crotch. In pain, I kneeled down. The referee came up to me and whispered, "The smaller they are, the more it hurts." FML

#20911508
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42823) - you deserved it (3711)

On 10/07/2013 at 8:21pm - misc - by Agax (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend called me a selfish bitch and dumped me after I told him I'm planning on getting much-needed breast reduction surgery. FML

#20903440
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61352) - you deserved it (14821)

On 10/01/2013 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by Ggirl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time after we made up from a huge fight. He loves my cat, but she's sick right now so she wouldn't play with him. He yelled at me for "making" her not like him by "telling her lies". FML

#20910894
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47693) - you deserved it (4864)

On 10/07/2013 at 12:20pm - animals - by littlekellilee (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for knowing more about Batman than he does. He's only seen some of the movies, and as a kid my dad owned a comic book store. He still doesn't see why I should know more, because I'm a girl, and "girls aren't supposed to know about super heroes." FML

#20921778
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50994) - you deserved it (3764)

On 10/15/2013 at 5:48pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my wife's pregnancy hormones got so bad that she freaked out and threw a tantrum, accusing me of always making important decisions for her. All I did was get her some food from Taco Bell as a surprise. FML

#20912485
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58506) - you deserved it (5473)

On 10/08/2013 at 1:57pm - intimacy - by hubby - United States

Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML

#20917903
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42687) - you deserved it (24135)

On 10/12/2013 at 6:03pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Iceland (Borgarfjardarsysla)

Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distance lover while touching myself, when a cockroach fell from my ceiling and landed on the hand I was molesting myself with. FML

#20915065
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51623) - you deserved it (17298)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:40am - intimacy - by DisgustinglyFrustrated - Argentina (Santa Fe)

Today, my boyfriend and I watched Star Trek Into Darkness together. He liked it so much that he's now chosen to yell "KHAAANNNNN!" as he cums. FML

#20933461
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44471) - you deserved it (6953)

On 10/25/2013 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by NOKHAN (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend got a detention for public display of affection. We go to different schools. FML

#20937522
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55968) - you deserved it (4179)

On 10/29/2013 at 12:24am - love - by cmart_9 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML

#20908715
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45134) - you deserved it (3816)

On 10/05/2013 at 6:34pm - animals - by animal lover... -

Today, someone popped my birthday balloon at school. Her reasoning was that she "didn't want people to know we have the same birthday." Who popped it? My identical twin sister. FML

#20934033
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50472) - you deserved it (3473)

On 10/25/2013 at 11:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: