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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my brother finally paid me the $60 he owed me. I later found out that he'd stolen those $60 from my wallet. FML

#20906200
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45156) - you deserved it (3581)

On 10/03/2013 at 5:40pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, it was my first time having a make out session with my boyfriend. I got so nervous that a few minutes into it, I had to stop to take my inhaler. This happened twice more afterwards. FML

#20909145
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48265) - you deserved it (5258)

On 10/06/2013 at 1:20am - intimacy - by inhaler -.- - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got so self-conscious about weight gain that I got paranoid about how much my Castle Crashers character was eating to heal. FML

#20913357
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30015) - you deserved it (8793)

On 10/09/2013 at 12:22am - health - by SunshineX7 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, the person I've been trying so hard to get with wrote me a beautiful poem that almost everyone at my school saw and liked. It was about how we'd never be together. FML

#20904440
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45221) - you deserved it (3924)

On 10/02/2013 at 8:17am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, as I worked as a cashier, two girls came up laughing. I smiled as I rang them up, asking what had made them laugh so hard. One looked me dead in the face and said, "You." They then both walked away, laughing. FML

#20922962
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43053) - you deserved it (3640)

On 10/16/2013 at 5:52pm - work - by amy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML

#20905661
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38213) - you deserved it (3281)

On 10/03/2013 at 4:26am - animals - by hoo flung pu - United States

Today, I figured out my 1-year-old daughter likes to dip her hand in our dogs' water bowl, and rub the water on her face. So I put the water bowl out of reach. She then figured out how to open the bathroom door and use the toilet instead. FML

#20918462
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40437) - you deserved it (4136)

On 10/13/2013 at 1:51am - misc - by Water Daughter - United States

Today, during a family dinner, my 5-year-old son excitedly told everyone that I let him use my "douche" last week. My parents glared at me in anger and horror, and only after they left did I find out that his brother had told him that's what my loofah is called. FML

#20915293
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38709) - you deserved it (3142)

On 10/10/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by Lady Douche of Asscrackington (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got dumped because a guy sat next to me at a party and I didn't get up to change seats. Apparently, it means I subconsciously like the guy who sat down. FML

#20919316
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42020) - you deserved it (3753)

On 10/13/2013 at 8:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I went to the kitchen to grab some cereal. I guess my mum didn't hear me, because as I entered, I heard her ranting to herself about her "God damned fucking cheerios". I started to slowly back out, but I tripped over my own feet. She heard and yelled at me for "sneaking around". FML

#20934627
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32356) - you deserved it (3801)

On 10/26/2013 at 2:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, at work, I had a customer accuse me of taking the giftcard I had issued her for her return, after spending 15 minutes trying to fix her screwed up transaction. She began to yell, and follow me around the store. Security had to intervene and I had to be locked in an office until she left. FML

#20935219
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36838) - you deserved it (2360)

On 10/27/2013 at 12:57am - work - by KatieElizabeth (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my car was broken into, on the same night I stayed up late researching how to install my new car alarm. FML

#20933464
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38409) - you deserved it (3115)

On 10/25/2013 at 1:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend blew me off yet again because he claims he has a responsibility as a "crew leader" to train and recruit members at all times, to accommodate all time zones. GTA V is ruining our relationship. FML



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