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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I invited my boyfriend over to meet my new puppy. My dog decided to take a dump on his lap. He is now not talking to me because he thinks I trained my dog to do that. FML

#20934961
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40981) - you deserved it (4349)

On 10/26/2013 at 9:23pm - animals - by Puppy problems - United States (Vermont)

Today, I went on a blind date. The girl seemed perfect for me, until I found out she says "lol" and "rofl" out loud whenever she laughs. She also believes sex screws with people's "spiritual energy", and that's why she'll never have it. FML

#20934761
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46597) - you deserved it (4894)

On 10/26/2013 at 5:27pm - love - by CUCKOO (man) - United Kingdom

Today, being so desperate for money, I accepted a job in which I get shot at with paintballs for 6 hours. FML

#20911674
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43350) - you deserved it (5104)

On 10/07/2013 at 10:08pm - work - by BOHICA123 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my brother sent me an image by Skype, saying I really had to see it. I figured it was some kind of stupid joke, but I tried to look anyway. It wouldn't open. Turns out he thought he could just rename the ".exe" on a virus to ".jpg" and it would still run. My brother's a cretin. FML

#20926554
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40871) - you deserved it (3836)

On 10/19/2013 at 4:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I overcame my stage fright and got up in front of a café audience with my acoustic guitar to sing a few of my songs. Some asshat kept yelling stuff like "NEEDS MORE COWBELL!" and "FREEBIRD!", which made me lose my nerve and flee. FML

#20937310
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40998) - you deserved it (4389)

On 10/28/2013 at 9:57pm - misc - by NickDrakeFan (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend of a year denied in front of everyone that we ever dated. FML

#20930973
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53196) - you deserved it (4896)

On 10/23/2013 at 11:42am - love - by Zkroger (man) - United States

Today, I got dumped because a guy sat next to me at a party and I didn't get up to change seats. Apparently, it means I subconsciously like the guy who sat down. FML

#20919316
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45536) - you deserved it (4083)

On 10/13/2013 at 8:33pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my surgeon was talking to me about my upcoming heart bypass operation. I was extremely nervous from the start, but he somehow managed to keep saying things like "death", "fatalities", "high-risk", and "never wake up" throughout. FML

#20925456
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41415) - you deserved it (3367)

On 10/18/2013 at 6:12pm - health - by DocBastard, meet DocCunt (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mother topped someone's story of their child's problems by saying I'm on drugs. This resulted in people showing up to stage an intervention for me. She made the whole thing up and I've never used drugs, but no one believes me. FML

#20924836
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46850) - you deserved it (2867)

On 10/18/2013 at 2:13am - health - by Jan (man) - United States

Today, I yet again had to pretend to be a dumb bimbo so that my boyfriend wouldn't get upset over the fact that, in some cases, I might be smarter than him. FML

#20913509
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40101) - you deserved it (22837)

On 10/09/2013 at 3:51am - love - by yeah hun i think insects arent animals too (woman) - Germany (Sachsen)

Today, I sent my girlfriend a text this morning saying I love you. I rarely do this and instead of receiving the same message back, I got a message from my girlfriend accusing me of meaning to send it to someone else and dumped me. FML

#20902940
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44118) - you deserved it (6796)

On 10/01/2013 at 1:36am - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, someone stole my umbrella. It was pouring heavily, and I was using it at the time. FML

#20914908
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41741) - you deserved it (3167)

On 10/10/2013 at 7:27am - misc - by happyturtle (woman) - Croatia

Today, I realized I can't wait until my daughter moves out the house when she is 18. She is eight. FML

#20923587
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39565) - you deserved it (27999)

On 10/17/2013 at 1:51am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



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