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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I sent my girlfriend a text this morning saying I love you. I rarely do this and instead of receiving the same message back, I got a message from my girlfriend accusing me of meaning to send it to someone else and dumped me. FML

#20902940
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41981) - you deserved it (6513)

On 10/01/2013 at 1:36am - love - by anonymous (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my mom started getting ready for the Rapture. FML

#20906662
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33361) - you deserved it (2875)

On 10/03/2013 at 11:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML

#20904281
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37442) - you deserved it (6229)

On 10/02/2013 at 1:47am - intimacy - by fed up/turned off - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend was rubbing my leg. He started laughing and said, "Babe, is this your leg, or am I petting Daisy?" Daisy is my dog. I need to shave. FML

#20910814
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27260) - you deserved it (37034)

On 10/07/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by loserllamalick (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my psycho ex-girlfriend, who's already made two threats against my life, informed me that she now has a concealed carry permit. FML

#20907451
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43214) - you deserved it (3188)

On 10/04/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was at Petsmart with my puppy. Someone tried to pet him. I tried to warn the guy that he is a rescue and doesn't trust easily. He didn't listen and now wants to sue me for a dog bite that didn't even break the skin. FML

#20906371
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43061) - you deserved it (2889)

On 10/03/2013 at 8:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a job interview that I was quite nervous about. During the interview, I struggled to get my words out and the interviewer angrily told me to, "Get on with it." I continued to struggle and was later kicked out for wasting their time. I have a stutter. FML

#20937756
108 comments

Today, I had to buy a new boxcutter for work after our old one broke. It came in a box, the type which policy requires a boxcutter to open. FML

#20922948
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39626) - you deserved it (3273)

On 10/16/2013 at 5:42pm - misc - by Awahso - United States (Georgia)

Today, I invited my boyfriend over to meet my new puppy. My dog decided to take a dump on his lap. He is now not talking to me because he thinks I trained my dog to do that. FML

#20934961
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38701) - you deserved it (4133)

On 10/26/2013 at 9:23pm - animals - by Puppy problems - United States (Vermont)

Today, my dog had an upset stomach and diarrhea. To avoid a mess on the carpet, I confined her to a gated area in the kitchen with sheets over the floor, so any mess could be cleaned up easily. Instead of going on the sheets, she sprayed shit all up the walls. FML

#20933932
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44176) - you deserved it (6658)

On 10/25/2013 at 9:50pm - animals - by kiwibox - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I taught my girlfriend some French. She then used her newfound language to break up with me. FML

#20932181
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40656) - you deserved it (4334)

On 10/24/2013 at 8:52am - misc - by French - Australia (Victoria)

Today, we found out that my unborn sibling is a girl, and my parents quickly named her. In a few years' time, "Candida" is going to catch all kinds of shit at school, just like I do for being named Dorothy. My "friends" have already started calling me "lil' yeast infection's sis". FML

#20935789
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33633) - you deserved it (2604)

On 10/27/2013 at 3:52pm - misc - by Dor51 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom blew her top when I casually mentioned that it's pretty well known that the story of Jesus is a retelling of older Persian and Egyptian stories. She then went on to yell at me that I wasted my money on college and "book learning". FML

#20903762
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31838) - you deserved it (9577)

On 10/01/2013 at 7:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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