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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I convinced my father that "Juanito", our relative who needed money for immediate surgery in Mexico was a stranger attempting to scam him. I was $1400 too late. FML

#20922898
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41683) - you deserved it (3738)

On 10/16/2013 at 5:05pm - money - by . (woman) - United States

Today, I jokingly told my friend that I was the kid who stole his brand new glow-in-the-dark markers back in kindergarten. Now he's ignoring my texts and calls and says we're through. So much for our twelve years of friendship. FML

#20918380
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39614) - you deserved it (9684)

On 10/13/2013 at 12:33am - misc - by markerThief (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband confessed his pregnancy fetish to me, and now wants me to wear a fake belly when we have sex. FML

#20927617
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51741) - you deserved it (4707)

On 10/20/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by U_U (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that when my dad said he would pay for my college, he really meant that he was going to forge my signature on a student loan in my name and not make payments on it. FML

#20927730
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47838) - you deserved it (3357)

On 10/20/2013 at 4:34pm - money - by oh... (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had an anxiety attack when I learned that my favorite book series is coming to the end. I had to leave the store and sit in my car. FML

#20930715
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37393) - you deserved it (8301)

On 10/23/2013 at 12:43am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, after holing myself up in my room for the day, I eventually turned my phone back on and told my girlfriend that my grandma passed away today. She replied, "Ask me if I fucking care," then accused me of not caring about our relationship because I went offline all day. FML

#20918838
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49093) - you deserved it (4568)

On 10/13/2013 at 12:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I slept over at my friend's house. Her dad made breakfast for us. While fixing a plate, my friend said, "Careful, my dad clips his nails in the kitchen." She said it with a sarcastic, joking tone, and laughed afterwards. While eating, I found a toenail in my food. Her response? "I told you." FML

#20926236
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46033) - you deserved it (5079)

On 10/19/2013 at 11:04am - misc - by sleepysophie (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my surgeon was talking to me about my upcoming heart bypass operation. I was extremely nervous from the start, but he somehow managed to keep saying things like "death", "fatalities", "high-risk", and "never wake up" throughout. FML

#20925456
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38296) - you deserved it (3214)

On 10/18/2013 at 6:12pm - health - by DocBastard, meet DocCunt (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was using my new curling iron to curl my hair. I was sitting down. Suddenly I dropped the iron and, as a reflex, I caught it between my bare thighs. FML

#20927250
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44889) - you deserved it (5526)

On 10/20/2013 at 8:39am - health - by cantcloselegs (woman) - United States

Today, I noticed that my sweat smelled like cat food. FML

#20928538
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33238) - you deserved it (6585)

On 10/21/2013 at 2:53am - health - by anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I invited my boyfriend over to meet my new puppy. My dog decided to take a dump on his lap. He is now not talking to me because he thinks I trained my dog to do that. FML

#20934961
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38772) - you deserved it (4138)

On 10/26/2013 at 9:23pm - animals - by Puppy problems - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was refereeing a soccer match and I called a foul. An angry coach kept screaming at me, saying "You're crazy!" I asked him to leave the field. As he left, he lifted his middle finger and screamed, "FUCK YOU!" I ref 5-year-olds. FML

#20937864
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44044) - you deserved it (3017)

On 10/29/2013 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I enjoyed a romantic evening at home with my husband while a babysitter took care of my 5-year-old daughter. After she came home, she told me the sitter let her use her "weird swing." I wasn't too worried, until she said it was indoors, and I realized she was describing a sex swing. FML

#20935603
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39471) - you deserved it (4112)

On 10/27/2013 at 12:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)



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