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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got kicked out of English class shortly after our teacher told us we have to write an essay on how the storyline of Harry Potter is one big allegory for "the futility of socialism." Apparently, reacting with disbelief makes me a "disruptive influence." FML

#20905920
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34132) - you deserved it (3506)

On 10/03/2013 at 12:42pm - misc - by WTF? (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I went to dinner with a guy I like and paid the $120 bill. After joking that he was an expensive date, he replied, "I laugh at how you think this is a date." FML

#20905656
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50078) - you deserved it (5765)

On 10/03/2013 at 4:14am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years drunkenly proposed to me, while sitting on the crapper, with the door open. FML

#20927152
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43347) - you deserved it (4423)

On 10/20/2013 at 3:06am - love - by ShittyProposal - United States (Ohio)

Today, I created a poster trying to raise self-harm awareness in teens for my school. They sent me to the counselor, suspended me, and recommended I go to therapy. FML

Today, my boyfriend broke a glass in the kitchen and accidentally stepped on it, cutting his foot. He asked me if I could help him clean his cut. Apparently, he's ticklish and I now have a huge bruise on my chest from where he kicked me. FML

#20929509
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39507) - you deserved it (3249)

On 10/21/2013 at 9:24pm - health - by ouch.... (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out through one of my friends that my boyfriend cheated on me. He says it doesn't count as cheating because he couldn't get it up. FML

#20930754
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49637) - you deserved it (4166)

On 10/23/2013 at 3:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got stuck in an elevator for well over an hour while riding it up to my weight and fitness class. Very funny, universe. FML

#20932462
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36633) - you deserved it (8710)

On 10/24/2013 at 3:16pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my body-building addiction hit a whole new level when I begged my friend to sell me her breast milk. FML

Today, my teacher was talking about anorexia and bulimia. Midway through the lesson, she stopped and knowingly asked if I wanted to share my experiences with the class. I don't have an eating disorder, just a screwed-up metabolism. FML

#20904715
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51067) - you deserved it (3003)

On 10/02/2013 at 2:37pm - health - by 94lbs of muscle -

Today, my bully made me cry once again. It's been going on for weeks. I don't know who to turn to; I can't say anything because I'd get into even more trouble. He even stole my Nintendo 3DS and won't give it back. My bully is my girlfriend's son. He's 10. FML

#20904358
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30656) - you deserved it (50702)

On 10/02/2013 at 4:12am - kids - by PickedOnByDamien (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, being so desperate for money, I accepted a job in which I get shot at with paintballs for 6 hours. FML

#20911674
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41646) - you deserved it (4913)

On 10/07/2013 at 10:08pm - work - by BOHICA123 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I convinced my father that "Juanito", our relative who needed money for immediate surgery in Mexico was a stranger attempting to scam him. I was $1400 too late. FML

#20922898
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41069) - you deserved it (3678)

On 10/16/2013 at 5:05pm - money - by . (woman) - United States

Today, I jokingly told my friend that I was the kid who stole his brand new glow-in-the-dark markers back in kindergarten. Now he's ignoring my texts and calls and says we're through. So much for our twelve years of friendship. FML

#20918380
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39562) - you deserved it (9679)

On 10/13/2013 at 12:33am - misc - by markerThief (man) - United States (California)



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