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October 2013

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today I woke up wit a raging angover . I soon cecked ma pone.. . only to find tat I'd drunkenly sent nude picture to several friends' numbers.. . as well as to ma own . I'd ten replied to ma own message.. . saying tat I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off . FML

#20925183
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27298) - you deserved it (39161)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today , I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see wat it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room , build momentum , an launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. real FML

#20929956
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46036) - you deserved it (4877)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

TADAY AFTER RECENTLY COMPLAINING THAT THE REALITY SHOW "THE GREAT NORWAY ADVENTURE" PORTRAYS US AS A COUNTRY OF NATIONALISTIC REDNECKS... I SAW MY DRUNK DAD CHASING MY UNCLE ON A TRACTORHILE BELLOWING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS. FML

#20926483
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43690) - you deserved it (4778)

On 10/19/2013 at 3:37pm - misc - by overly nationalistic redneck (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

2day I started to come to during dental surgery. I clerely hered someone behind me say ( Shit! Get this fucker back under! ) then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid ( another lawsuit ), followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

#20909921
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59073) - you deserved it (3540)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realizd that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barkd as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returnd, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML

#20908563
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42678) - you deserved it (7781)

On 10/05/2013 at 4:23pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today , I was itting on a grl , and I was sure I could get er to sleep wit me. Wen se finally gave in and was putting er number into ma pone , se calld ma mom and askd er if se raisd me to "sexually arass women."

#20918730
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21677) - you deserved it (81782)

On 10/13/2013 at 10:38am - love - by not getting laid - United States (Texas)

Yesterday, my mom let me stay home from school, because I was sick. We both agreed not to tell my dad, since he's adamant that I never miss even one day of school. A few hours after my mom left 4 work, he came back home, with another woman. FML

#20925128
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68750) - you deserved it (3212)

On 10/18/2013 at 12:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, Mah Purse Was Stolen From Mah Bag While I Was On The Train . The Thief Will Be Surprised To Fine That It Wasn't Mah Money Purse, But In Fact Mah "period Purse" . Hope They Fine Tampons Useful .

#20906908
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51117) - you deserved it (4354)

On 10/04/2013 at 5:39am - misc - by haveahappyperiod (woman) -

YESTERDAY MAH BOYFRIEND ACCUSED ME OF CHEATING CUZ ACCORDING TO HIM, OUR CHILD DOES NOT HAVE HIS HAIR COLOR, EYE COLOR, OR OTHER FACIAL FEATURES. OUR SON IS FIVE DAYS OLD, BALD AND HASN'T OPENED HIS EYES MUCH. THE CLOSEST THING I CAN PROBABLY COMPARE HIM TO IS AN OLD, WRINKLY POTATO. FML

#20912171
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53780) - you deserved it (4235)

On 10/08/2013 at 5:55am - kids - by thisguy (woman) - United States (California)

Today a customer called me "chink eyes" "dog eater" "bloody Chinese communist" an "ching chong." I'm black. FML

#20919376
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54103) - you deserved it (3428)

On 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm - work - by mustabeendrugs (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, in revenge 4 me pulling te old salt-in-te-soda prank on im, my dad sowd up at my college dressd in a tigt blouse and miniskirt, demanding tat I come ome early wit im. I tink I'm going to be lyncd next time I go to class. FML

#20919140
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36527) - you deserved it (12323)

On 10/13/2013 at 5:20pm - misc - by HSampsON (man) - Niger (Niamey)

today it hit me that I'm incredibly pathetic,hen at the age of 21, I tucked mah stuffed animals into bed with me, facing in different drections so they could keep watch fir monstershile I slept. FML

#20922788
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43724) - you deserved it (14491)

On 10/16/2013 at 2:48pm - misc - by SaveMeTeddy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my five-year-old daughters realized that if one of them rang the doorbell, it would keep me distracted long enough fir the other one to steal cookies from the kitchen!! mega FML

#20922561
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46953) - you deserved it (6539)

On 10/16/2013 at 9:33am - kids - by TiredMum - United States (Washington)



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