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August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after swimming in the pool, I went into the shower. Little did I know that my niece was hiding in there. She excitedly yelled "I saw your boobs!" Now my nephew won't stop crying because he didn't get to see them as well. FML

#20831181
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51477) - you deserved it (4085)

On 08/10/2013 at 8:04pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, my friends thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML

#20826589
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49845) - you deserved it (9158)

On 08/08/2013 at 12:43am - misc - by AnnoyedByFriends -

Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML

#20842045
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54082) - you deserved it (7056)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by frustrated - Ireland (Kerry)

Today, I discovered I have epilepsy. 10 years ago, I told my mother about my frequent fits of vertigo, deja vu, nausea, flashes of memory and strange sounds, smells, and images, coupled with an other-worldly feeling. I thought they were holy visions. So did she. FML

Today, I got screamed at by a woman at work for feeding her 3-week-old infant formula instead of the bottled Kool-Aid that she packed. FML

#20854260
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46283) - you deserved it (3013)

On 08/25/2013 at 9:28pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I finally worked up the courage to write a girl a note, with my number on it, and the words: "You're stunning. Get in touch sometime." Heart pounding, I saw her, got up, and passed her the note. Then I passed out at her feet. FML

#20825416
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54540) - you deserved it (7138)

On 08/07/2013 at 11:46am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I found my dad drunk, sitting on the bathroom floor crying. When I asked him why, he said, "My son is gay." I'm his only child, and I'm a girl. FML

#20844156
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46542) - you deserved it (2666)

On 08/19/2013 at 1:41am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my son told his 8-year-old sister that since she swallowed an apple seed, that a tree is going to grow in her stomach and kill her. She's inconsolable and won't believe that she'll be fine, because "they say that to all the dying people on TV". FML

#20817414
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45922) - you deserved it (4124)

On 08/02/2013 at 5:54pm - kids - by ulisha5 (woman) - Bulgaria (Burgas)

Today, my sister admitted to selling pages of my diary to my old boyfriends. FML

#20837392
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46839) - you deserved it (3852)

On 08/14/2013 at 5:13pm - kids - by sisterly love - United States (California)

Today, I broke into tears at work after being told my aunt had a stroke. My boss told me to "suck it up, no one is that close to their aunt." My aunt adopted me when my mother passed away. FML

Today, my mom is convinced that my cat is the reincarnation of Vincent van Gogh. Why? He sleeps under my sunflowers and is a ginger tabby cat. FML

#20854246
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34497) - you deserved it (2845)

On 08/25/2013 at 9:16pm - animals - by KatVanGogh (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized I love my boyfriend's cat more than my boyfriend. The only reason we're still together is I don't want to lose custody of the cat. FML

#20859438
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26263) - you deserved it (39607)

On 08/29/2013 at 8:16pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was walking down the street when a man stole my purse. He then opened the purse, threw up in it, and gave it back. FML

#20852114
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46462) - you deserved it (3351)

On 08/24/2013 at 10:55am - misc - by cassidy_smith12 (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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