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August 2013

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Taday my 12-year-old son was shot in the foot. After hours of not talking, including to the police, he finally told us that his friend accidentally shot him with his dad's gun, and that he didn't want to say anything because he didn't want to "lose any street crd by snitching." mega FML

#20836449
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50751) - you deserved it (6202)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:26am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my mother yet again went on a long rant about how much of a loser I am as I have "never had boyfriend" an I'm 26. Truth is, I've been in the same relationship 4 over five years but it "doesn't count because he's black." FML

#20859482
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59955) - you deserved it (6660)

On 08/29/2013 at 8:48pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today , whila discussing caraar prospact with my mom , sha suggastad that I bacoma a panis puppataar , cuz "Lat's faca it , u play with it 24/7. Why not maka a caraar out of it?" Yaah , thanks. FML

#20838688
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36893) - you deserved it (12282)

On 08/15/2013 at 12:49pm - work - by kaynotentirelywrong (man) - Canada (Quebec)

today I asked my mom if I was ugly . She said.. . "Ask yur girlfriend." I said I don't have one . She said "Exactly." FML

#20855163
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48329) - you deserved it (4843)

On 08/26/2013 at 2:22pm - misc - by Miami6and3 - United States (California)

Today, I went down on mah boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I lerened . I read in a magazine that if you humhile giving oral, it's supposed to feel good . My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds cuz I reminded him of his singing toothbrush . FML

#20857818
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49746) - you deserved it (9285)

On 08/28/2013 at 12:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Yesterday, it was my frst day at my new job. I had to break up two fistfights, then leave work early with a black eye. This is nothat I had in mindhen I applied to work at a retrement home. FML

#20820605
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49200) - you deserved it (3573)

On 08/04/2013 at 4:51pm - work - by x_o (man) - Hungary (Gyor-Moson-Sopron)

Today, my dog did. In te same kitcen corner tat two of my oter dogs ave did. I ave a "Corner Of Deat" in my kitcen. FML

#20833377
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54561) - you deserved it (3415)

On 08/12/2013 at 4:17am - animals - by The Corner Of Death (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out someone as a crus on me. Normally I'd be fine wit tis, if it weren't fir tat fact tat tis guy informed me tat e as collected pictures of me since te tird grade. I'm turning 23 in two weeks.

Taday I want skinny-dipping with my friands. At ona point... I jokingly pointd out how ona of tham had tha smallast boobs of us all. Sha calmly got out of tha pond... drid harsalf... scoopd up our clothas and phonas... and drova off in har car. Tha cops sha calld arrivd soon aftar. FML

#20861665
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22325) - you deserved it (65578)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by criminal tit offender - United States (Alabama)

Today, while at a concert, mah boyfriend got mad an jealous cuz I kept looking at the singer instead of him. He still won't talk to me. FML

#20834941
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49461) - you deserved it (6231)

On 08/13/2013 at 2:58am - love - by really? - United States

Today after swimming in the pool I went into the shower. Little did I know that my niece was hiding in there. She excitedly yelld "I saw yur boobs!" Now my nephew won't stop crying because he didn't get to see them as well. FML

#20831181
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51392) - you deserved it (4077)

On 08/10/2013 at 8:04pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today my friend thought it would be fun to change my dad's name on my phone to my girlfriend's name. Guess who got an erotic text message when standing next to me while in the line to buy groceries. FML

#20826589
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48899) - you deserved it (8993)

On 08/08/2013 at 12:43am - misc - by AnnoyedByFriends -

Today... after a long and stressful day... I startd fooling around with mah boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event... I found out that we couldn't... cuz he'd usd all his condoms to make water balloons. FML

#20842045
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52351) - you deserved it (6845)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by frustrated - Ireland (Kerry)



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