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August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my 12-year-old son was shot in the foot. After hours of not talking, including to the police, he finally told us that his friend accidentally shot him with his dad's gun, and that he didn't want to say anything because he didn't want to "lose any street cred by snitching." FML

#20836449
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50882) - you deserved it (6212)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:26am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my dog died. In the same kitchen corner that two of my other dogs have died. I have a "Corner Of Death" in my kitchen. FML

#20833377
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56823) - you deserved it (3575)

On 08/12/2013 at 4:17am - animals - by The Corner Of Death (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML

#20838395
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54253) - you deserved it (3931)

On 08/15/2013 at 5:47am - work - by bglenney - United States (California)

Today, I wore a bikini to the lake with my parents. I didn't know that my back was covered in bruises, and ended up having to awkwardly explain to my parents that I am not in an abusive relationship; the bruises came from the sex I had last night. FML

#20822120
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51727) - you deserved it (14633)

On 08/05/2013 at 1:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He told me he'd ask his dad if it was okay. I thought he was just kidding, until he pulled out his phone and called his dad. After a few minutes of "come on, dad" and "but why?" he hung up and said his dad wouldn't let him. He's 22. FML

#20824090
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58574) - you deserved it (4848)

On 08/06/2013 at 4:35pm - love - by (._. ) (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, at the pool, a kid no older than 8 was sitting on the diving board, not letting anyone else use it. I went over and tried to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen. My uncle stormed over, said "I got this!" and punted him over the edge. We both got thrown out for "bullying" the kid. FML

#20827779
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46544) - you deserved it (6228)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:03pm - kids - by JuggaloSlasher15 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I were fooling around, and things got heated. In the heat of things, I told him to tear my panties off. He took it literally and yanked at them with all his might. It's been two hours and I still can't walk straight. FML

#20827713
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50796) - you deserved it (18762)

On 08/08/2013 at 6:15pm - intimacy - by fuck my arse (woman) - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, my mother yet again went on a long rant about how much of a loser I am as I have "never had boyfriend" and I'm 26. Truth is, I've been in the same relationship for over five years but it "doesn't count because he's black." FML

#20859482
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63449) - you deserved it (7017)

On 08/29/2013 at 8:48pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I got sexual tingles while watching a Subway worker assemble my sandwich. FML

#20846728
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48368) - you deserved it (11636)

On 08/20/2013 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, at work, I had to utter the phrase, "Sir, please stop rubbing yourself with the peas." It's exactly how it sounds. FML

#20847854
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44358) - you deserved it (3118)

On 08/21/2013 at 1:30pm - work - by twatstick (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I came home a little earlier than usual, only to walk in on my dad frantically trying to remove a ballgag from my mom's mouth. FML

#20822450
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51154) - you deserved it (4857)

On 08/05/2013 at 5:42pm - misc - by NO NO NO (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, after swimming in the pool, I went into the shower. Little did I know that my niece was hiding in there. She excitedly yelled "I saw your boobs!" Now my nephew won't stop crying because he didn't get to see them as well. FML

#20831181
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52572) - you deserved it (4177)

On 08/10/2013 at 8:04pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I walked in on my husband putting my anti-wrinkle cream on his balls. He said, "I thought it'd help." FML

#20822001
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48967) - you deserved it (4934)

On 08/05/2013 at 12:41pm - intimacy - by Serum - United States (Kansas)



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