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August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my 70-year-old grandmother held a celebration over officially having divorced my grandfather. FML

#20816755
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35891) - you deserved it (3255)

On 08/02/2013 at 8:41am - love - by chickety boom - United States (Texas)

Today, I got the sex talk from my dad. It wouldn't have been so bad if he hadn't said "It's not the size of the stick, it's how you use it." I'm a girl. FML

#20814602
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49224) - you deserved it (3926)

On 08/01/2013 at 1:10am - intimacy - by confused_girl (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was stretching after a group run. I noticed one of the girls was having problems balancing, so I told her that I have horrible balance too, but that it'll get better. She sneered and said she had a brain tumor when she was a kid, and that's why she has such bad balance. FML

#20819891
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42085) - you deserved it (5945)

On 08/04/2013 at 3:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend discovered subliminal messaging. She thought that whispering "you want to shave your beard" under her breath while I'm not looking at her, then denying ever saying it, would eventually make me shave my alleged upper-lip hair FML

#20832150
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32329) - you deserved it (4834)

On 08/11/2013 at 12:26pm - misc - by -__- (woman) - Greece (Attiki)

Today, I was at a "bring your family to work" event. I noticed my coworker brought his kids but not his wife, so I asked, "No wife today?" Everyone glared at me and he pointedly replied that she's married to someone else now. I had no idea. Now everyone thinks I'm an insensitive prick. FML

#20844855
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39392) - you deserved it (7838)

On 08/19/2013 at 3:04pm - work - by insensitive prick (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, like every day for the past 6 months, I got a call from the same telemarketers. I've been ignoring the calls, so now they've started leaving me voicemails. I can't get rid of the annoying voicemail icon on my phone without making a call, so I have to pay to listen to their offers. FML

Today, I realized the only reason I was invited to go on vacation with my extended family was so I could babysit everyone's children while the adults go out and have fun. FML

#20850802
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37321) - you deserved it (2643)

On 08/23/2013 at 1:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I returned to work after a much-needed vacation. I got a lot of weird stares from my co-workers, and my boss eventually came over and told me to go home. Why? My work week starts tomorrow, not today. FML

#20822133
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35433) - you deserved it (8801)

On 08/05/2013 at 2:09pm - work - by Fuckup (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was to give a business report to several important shareholders. Right at the start, I broke into a coughing fit, then got so nervous that I froze up. When I tried to excuse myself, I tripped over my own feet. I'm now facing demotion for making the company look bad. FML

#20843443
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37198) - you deserved it (4898)

On 08/18/2013 at 5:23pm - work - by socianx (man) - Albania

Today, my OCD manager sprayed my hands with chemicals because I touched the bin while throwing away a piece of paper. My hands are now covered in itchy, unattractive rashes. FML

#20833453
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37161) - you deserved it (2708)

On 08/12/2013 at 7:19am - work - by nearly a crazy lady - United Kingdom

Today, my daughter managed to crash my car. It's okay though, the insurance will cover it. However, it won't cover all the items she damaged crashing into a garage sale. FML

#20856229
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36731) - you deserved it (2942)

On 08/27/2013 at 6:17am - kids - by Idontknowwhattodo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a steering wheel cover to stop my obsessive steering wheel picking. After putting it on, I realized it was crooked, causing me to have OCD fits every time I drive. I can still pick at the steering wheel around the cover. FML

#20845898
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29426) - you deserved it (8900)

On 08/20/2013 at 3:08am - health - by anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my dog was riding my car's passenger seat. He clambered over onto my lap, causing me to lose control of the wheel for a few seconds. As I tried to knock him off me, I lost track of my speed, and ended up being pulled over for reckless driving. FML

#20840431
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21381) - you deserved it (37100)

On 08/16/2013 at 2:41pm - animals - by fUcKOAHdSAjl (man) - United States (New Hampshire)



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