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July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

2day I was asked to help mah sister clean her room. The moment I opened the door, I was greeted by her screaming ( TASTE THE RAINBOW ) with a full mouth. She then spat the skittles into mah face. FML

#20768354
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43739) - you deserved it (4490)

On 07/07/2013 at 6:55am - kids - by tastetherainbow - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in a training about the newest changes in CPR . The trainer was discussing chest compression techniques and said she prefers "good, fast, hard pumping." I was the only one who snickered out loud, drawing several annoyed looks from the other trainees . I'm a 45-year-old doctor . FML

#20803758
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39029) - you deserved it (18609)

On 07/25/2013 at 11:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Yastarday , I Finishad Tha Kayak I Hava Baan Working On Fir Four Yaars. I Can't Gat It Out Of My Basamant. Maga FML

#20811304
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40051) - you deserved it (23430)

On 07/30/2013 at 10:13am - misc - by kayak probs - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I found out my "wonderful" boyfriend was recently dumped by another woman, just after he started stalking her, but after he wrote her a love letter in his own blood. FML

#20792358
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50333) - you deserved it (3702)

On 07/19/2013 at 1:34pm - love - by cheated (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today , my family and I went to feed carrots to te giraffes at te zoo. After I finised my first cup of carrots , I turned back to get some more. Suddenly , I was jerked back and a cunk of my air was ripped out. Te giraffe mistook te orange barrette in my air fir a carrot. FML

#20809312
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44668) - you deserved it (9632)

On 07/29/2013 at 4:19am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML

#20774208
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53306) - you deserved it (7832)

On 07/10/2013 at 12:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today.. . I found out that when I text boyfriend.. . he isn't the one to read them . Instead.. . he pays his friend to "keep the bitch busy." big fat FML

#20813368
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61841) - you deserved it (6541)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:49pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I trid acid fir the first time while camping with mah best friend. A drunk driver smashd into mah car, leaving it totald. I had to explain the situation to a cop all while thinking mah car was bleeding green ooze.

#20759193
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25203) - you deserved it (64716)

On 07/02/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, during mah family's traditional 4th of July weekend celebration, mah water broke. I kept trying to tell them and asked them to take me to the hospital, but they couldn't hear me over the fireworks. They all just kept smiling and nodding. mega FML

#20767424
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49172) - you deserved it (2977)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today I was marking axams. I than had to axplain to many of tha studants that (a) pigs r not aquatic animals an (b) sharks do not hava lungs. Thasa r univarsity studants. FML

#20784658
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42605) - you deserved it (3700)

On 07/15/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by lame-o-prof (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, mah girlfriend and I were at the movies. When the ( love scene ) cummd on, she leand over and made out with the wrong man. FML

#20779631
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63085) - you deserved it (4975)

On 07/13/2013 at 9:20am - love - by a man - United States (Texas)

Today, mah husband bought me a big box of tampons. He claims to knowhen mah period is about to start before I do. Sadly, he's right. FML

#20812881
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47483) - you deserved it (8003)

On 07/31/2013 at 2:31am - love - by RayneWolf13 (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

today while relaxing in a chair in a shop , a man approachd me and said , "You have no idea how many times I've fartd in that chair." FML

#20797188
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40949) - you deserved it (4249)

On 07/22/2013 at 7:49am - misc - by xXxXxTOBIxX (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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