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July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was asked to help my sister clean her room. The moment I opened the door, I was greeted by her screaming "TASTE THE RAINBOW" with a full mouth. She then spat the skittles into my face. FML

#20768354
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43788) - you deserved it (4492)

On 07/07/2013 at 6:55am - kids - by tastetherainbow - United States (Texas)

Today, I was in a training about the newest changes in CPR. The trainer was discussing chest compression techniques and said she prefers "good, fast, hard pumping." I was the only one who snickered out loud, drawing several annoyed looks from the other trainees. I'm a 45-year-old doctor. FML

#20803758
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39064) - you deserved it (18621)

On 07/25/2013 at 11:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the movies. When the "love scene" came on, she leaned over and made out with the wrong man. FML

#20779631
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63142) - you deserved it (4979)

On 07/13/2013 at 9:20am - love - by a man - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my "wonderful" boyfriend was recently dumped by another woman, not just after he started stalking her, but after he wrote her a love letter in his own blood. FML

#20792358
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50371) - you deserved it (3707)

On 07/19/2013 at 1:34pm - love - by cheated (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, while I was eating cereal, my mother thought it would be appropriate to grab the bowl and start spoon-feeding me while making airplane noises, again. I'm 19. FML

Today, I finished the kayak I have been working on for four years. I can't get it out of my basement. FML

#20811304
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40090) - you deserved it (23447)

On 07/30/2013 at 10:13am - misc - by kayak probs - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I returned home from an extended vacation only to find out my cousin wasn't kidding when he said he was going to steal my boyfriend. I thought I was dating a straight guy. FML

#20761976
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43546) - you deserved it (3211)

On 07/03/2013 at 4:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I tried acid for the first time while camping with my best friend. A drunk driver smashed into my car, leaving it totaled. I had to explain the situation to a cop all while thinking my car was bleeding green ooze. FML

#20759193
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25459) - you deserved it (65207)

On 07/02/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 15-year-old birth daughter asked if I've ever had sex. FML

#20774208
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54053) - you deserved it (7913)

On 07/10/2013 at 12:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, during my family's traditional 4th of July weekend celebration, my water broke. I kept trying to tell them and asked them to take me to the hospital, but they couldn't hear me over the fireworks. They all just kept smiling and nodding. FML

#20767424
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49219) - you deserved it (2982)

On 07/06/2013 at 5:45pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was in a restroom, reading this site, when another gentleman walked in. He washed his hands, dried them, nodded at me, then left. It wouldn't ordinarily be so weird, except I was in a one-person restroom. FML

#20784458
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50757) - you deserved it (8397)

On 07/15/2013 at 3:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was marking exams. I then had to explain to many of the students that (a) pigs are not aquatic animals and (b) sharks do not have lungs. These are university students. FML

#20784658
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42662) - you deserved it (3706)

On 07/15/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by lame-o-prof (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while relaxing in a chair in a shop, a man approached me and said, "You have no idea how many times I've farted in that chair." FML

#20797188
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40992) - you deserved it (4252)

On 07/22/2013 at 7:49am - misc - by xXxXxTOBIxX (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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