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July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML

#20777956
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47223) - you deserved it (6140)

On 07/12/2013 at 4:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend's boss. She was wondering if he was okay, since he hasn't shown up to work for the past two weeks. Now I'm wondering where he's been going when he leaves the house each day. FML

#20799589
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59989) - you deserved it (3991)

On 07/23/2013 at 3:03pm - love - by Hesintrouble (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, the guy I was on a date with jokingly challenged me to an arm wrestle. I won. He left. FML

Today, I was walking home from the store when I saw my uncle. I went over and gave him a surprise hug. He grabbed my ass. He wasn't really my uncle. FML

#20809869
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43203) - you deserved it (19973)

On 07/29/2013 at 3:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was in the shower, oblivious to the outside world, when four police officers who had apparently been banging at my door, entered by force. They were doing a bust on a weed farm and got the wrong house. FML

#20811532
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53064) - you deserved it (3210)

On 07/30/2013 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my mom signed me up for a swimming class to show my sister there's nothing to be afraid of. Considering I'm 17, I assumed I'd be in an advanced class. Instead, I get to spend summer blowing bubbles in the shallow end with four-year-olds as my little sister cheers me on from the steps. FML

#20758869
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38937) - you deserved it (3292)

On 07/01/2013 at 10:37pm - misc - by AwkwardPotato - United States (California)

Today, I was doing a demonstration in front of my taekwondo class because I'm flexible. Really flexible. I kneed myself in the face and broke my nose. FML

#20779010
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42747) - you deserved it (10137)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:37am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML

#20766880
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46995) - you deserved it (5054)

On 07/06/2013 at 11:14am - misc - by StockedWithJuice (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my doctor told me that I suffer from orgasm migraines. Basically, I get an intense migraine that lasts for hours after I have an orgasm. FML

#20798770
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67925) - you deserved it (4012)

On 07/23/2013 at 1:17am - intimacy - by amanda (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was reassuring my girlfriend that I wasn't cheating on her because I was sneaking around. I'm actually just planning a surprise birthday party for her. During the reassuring, I accidentally called her another girl's name. FML

#20797095
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53111) - you deserved it (28614)

On 07/22/2013 at 4:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, my parents staged an intervention because I ate a year's supply of noodles in 2 weeks. FML

Today, I did a photoshoot with my boyfriend and his buddy. We drove out to the countryside and set up on top of a hill. My boyfriend kept having me move further and further back. I eventually fell and rolled down the steep hill, while he and his buddy high-fived each other. FML

#20808454
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47773) - you deserved it (6970)

On 07/28/2013 at 6:58pm - misc - by -_- (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, my fiancé paid a visit to my parents so he could ask my dad's permission to marry me. My dad responded with, "Why buy the cow when you can milk it for free?" FML

#20757403
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51427) - you deserved it (4324)

On 07/01/2013 at 2:38am - love - by Gracie-Ann (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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