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July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was out on a leisurely jog. Out of nowhere, a car slowed down in the street, and a passenger screamed "HAPPY 4TH OF JULY, MOTHERFUCKER," before tossing a lit Roman Candle at my feet. FML

#20763905
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42713) - you deserved it (3690)

On 07/04/2013 at 6:30pm - health - by Your ass... Grab it... (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend gives out my number to guys who ask for hers. Let's just say that I'll never be able to unsee the pictures that were sent to me. FML

#20768089
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47095) - you deserved it (3611)

On 07/07/2013 at 1:21am - intimacy - by nomorenakedpicsplease - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to my parents' barbecue. He knew my family is extremely religious, so what did he do? Called for silence to make an announcement, namely: "God isn't real." Cue a riot that ended in us being kicked out and me all but disowned for "putting him up to it". FML

#20765683
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41313) - you deserved it (6954)

On 07/05/2013 at 6:29pm - misc - by he's a dawk, and a cunt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was reading a newspaper at a bus stop when a creepy guy rested his chin on my shoulder and said, "I miss the good old days, when people would read newspapers together and it wasn't classed as weird." Then he walked away. FML

#20772742
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36382) - you deserved it (3136)

On 07/09/2013 at 4:57pm - misc - by help - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my mom got drunk and punched me in the nose, then yelled at me for bleeding on the carpet. FML

#20777221
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53996) - you deserved it (4214)

On 07/12/2013 at 3:22am - misc - by ouch (man) - United States

Today, as I was about to enter a public restroom, a man walked out and said, "You may want to hold your nose in there. I just took the biggest dump of my life." It was the ladies' restroom. FML

#20785565
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43802) - you deserved it (2861)

On 07/16/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I poured my heart out to my now ex-girlfriend over the recent passing away of my grandmother. Her eyes glazed over multiple times, and when I said that I don't know how to cope with everything, her advice was simply, "Shotgun. Mouth. Blam." FML

#20766944
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47061) - you deserved it (4390)

On 07/06/2013 at 12:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Lithuania (Vilniaus Apskritis)

Today, my boyfriend got angry because I laughed when he asked me if he should retire from being a Pokemon Trainer. He was serious. He's also 21. FML

#20798065
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34278) - you deserved it (9089)

On 07/22/2013 at 6:14pm - love - by ihatepokemon (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend guilted me into roleplaying as Justin Bieber before and during sex. I now feel physically ill. FML

#20788707
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55434) - you deserved it (18775)

On 07/17/2013 at 4:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I called a tree removal company to have my diseased elm removed. When I got home from work, I was surprised to find it still there. Not as surprised as my neighbor was to discover that his tree was missing, nor as surprised as his children when they saw there was no more tree-house. FML

#20790198
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51892) - you deserved it (3873)

On 07/18/2013 at 10:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend suggested that we become "drug dealers" because I'm a chemistry student and he's seen a few episodes of Breaking Bad. FML

#20812711
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41693) - you deserved it (4220)

On 07/31/2013 at 12:50am - misc - by Bnewlove - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered "Fuck it" and left. FML

#20806263
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40436) - you deserved it (3133)

On 07/27/2013 at 12:30pm - love - by Anonycunt (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I was on a movie date with my boyfriend, when he asked for a handjob. I thought I was doing well until he sighed, took my hand off, and said he could finish on his own. FML

#20761555
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46963) - you deserved it (14450)

On 07/03/2013 at 12:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)



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