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June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was on my bike. As I'm rolling through an intersection, some asshat in a pickup runs the red light and hits me. Instead of getting out and helping me, the guy hops out, takes a look at me lying in the street, steals my hat and drives off. That was my favorite hat. FML

#20720945
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60875) - you deserved it (4338)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:10am - misc - by Are you f*cking kidding me (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my friend got dumped. I wanted to say, "You must be devastated", thinking, "That really sucks." I said, "You must really suck." FML

#20717146
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45766) - you deserved it (13219)

On 06/10/2013 at 7:22am - misc - by Oops (woman) - United States

Today, I was accused of shooting drugs at work. I was only feeding a baby bird that was tucked into my arm using a medicine syringe. I've been smuggling it to work because it has to eat every 2 hours or it will starve. Now everyone there thinks I'm a hardcore dope fiend. FML

#20751061
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46380) - you deserved it (8314)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:56pm - animals - by Gribby - United States (Missouri)

Today, I walked in on my dad's poker game. He didn't know I was there, and was telling his friends what he would do to my girlfriend if I wasn't dating her. FML

#20745284
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60632) - you deserved it (4158)

On 06/24/2013 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by Creepedout - United States (Florida)

Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML

#20741232
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51325) - you deserved it (11933)

On 06/22/2013 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my crush kissed me for the first time. However, my hair was falling into my face and getting in the way. No problem, I wear a wig so without thinking, I simply removed it. I don't think he'll kiss me again anytime soon. FML

#20755685
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50065) - you deserved it (19247)

On 06/30/2013 at 6:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I threw a birthday party for my boyfriend. As a joke, my friend and I served him non-alcoholic beer to see how he'd react. After a while, he faked being drunk, using it as an excuse after I caught him making out with one of my so-called "friends". FML

#20709553
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55864) - you deserved it (11271)

On 06/06/2013 at 12:32pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Senegal

Today, my mom left for a bachelorette party. She forgot a gift, so she called me and made me go into her closet, pick out a sex toy from the "box of gag gifts", and bring it to her. Should I pick anal beads or a cock ring? FML

#20744678
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54929) - you deserved it (4485)

On 06/24/2013 at 2:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my wife made me moist cat food burgers as a prank. I didnt have the heart to tell her that they tasted better than the ones she usually makes. FML

#20742017
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50554) - you deserved it (4192)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:05am - misc - by kittybad - United States

Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which is worse: that he didn't stop to see if I was OK, or that it seemed to turn him on and he climaxed immediately after he'd hit me. FML

#20736775
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55837) - you deserved it (5507)

On 06/20/2013 at 4:47am - intimacy - by naughtymommy0317 (woman) - United States

Today, my sister and I were having a slumber party in my room since my parents left on a trip. They left my grandparents here to watch us. It was past bed time and we started hearing some strange noises through my floor. We thought it was the radio. Turns out my grandma is a screamer. FML

Today, my co-workers figured out that I was in high school when my husband was in kindergarten. They won't stop calling me a "cougar". FML

#20718644
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33271) - you deserved it (50199)

On 06/10/2013 at 11:19pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I used a public restroom. I saw my sister's shoes walk into the stall next to me, so I gave her a little nudge with my foot. We then nudged each other until I walked out and saw a homeless man with the same shoes as my sister. He then tried to hold my hand. FML

#20745749
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26141) - you deserved it (40634)

On 06/25/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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