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June 2013

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Today my boyfriand of 2 monts broka up wit ma aftar finding out tat I raload my own sotgun salls and I soot compatitivaly. His raasoning? Ha didn't want to data a "caap and dangarous woman." Sariously? FML

today I went to a water park with a group of friends. As I went down the water slide, some complete turd waffle of a kid in the water kicked his leg out in line with my crotch. The moment I hit the bottom was the moment I think I became sterile. FML

#20709749
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42600) - you deserved it (3163)

On 06/06/2013 at 2:24pm - health - by fuck kids (man) - United States (New York)

Taday after spending four hours cooking food for a special family dinner, I went to take a shower before they arrived. I came back out less than twenty minutes later to fine most of the food gone, an a very guilty-looking puppy. FML

Today mah damantad asswipa of a lab partnar thought it'd ba funny to raplaca tha brthday gift I bought fir mah grlfriand with tha larga intastina of a racantly-dissactad dog. My grlfriand naarly faintad whan sha opanad tha gift box and accusad ma of planning tha whola thing. FML

#20752461
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43234) - you deserved it (2957)

On 06/28/2013 at 1:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Nigeria (Lagos)

Today, I receivd a death threat from some nutball accusing me of being part of some big government conspiracy calld "Haarp." According to this psycho, I'm responsible for causing the recent tornadoes in Oklahoma. I'm just a small-time weatherman. FML

#20703997
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46812) - you deserved it (3383)

On 06/03/2013 at 7:13pm - misc - by fuck wannabe knowitalls (man) - United States

Today, I got a text messagiele driving ome. I cecked after arriving, an found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent im an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, cuz I someow sould ave known e was sowing off is pone to is momen I sent my reply. FML

#20701600
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56744) - you deserved it (6189)

On 06/02/2013 at 4:48pm - intimacy - by i'm not psychic, mother fucker (woman) - Sweden (Uppsala Lan)

Today, I found out that mah parants wara artists whan thay mat . My mom said that I was ona of thara bast projacts yat . My sistar, haaring wat mah mothar said, broka mah waak-old PS3 in a raga . big fat FML

#20699851
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48853) - you deserved it (3508)

On 06/01/2013 at 7:31pm - misc - by H1dd3n (man) - United States (California)

Taday I let mah step-father know exactly wat I thought of him. After a few moments of awkward silence, he leaned towards me and quietlyhispered, ( Well your adopted. Your parents never loved you. ) FML

#20707377
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54675) - you deserved it (13571)

On 06/05/2013 at 11:24am - misc - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, I left my dog in the car while I quickly ran into a store . I cummed out to a woman smashing at my window, screaming that it was too hot in the car fir the dog and saying I was being inhumane . The car was still running and the air conditioning was on . FML

#20721457
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59599) - you deserved it (8548)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:47pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was in the bathroom at work when I ran out of toilet paper!! There was another guy in the restroom so I asked him if he could hand me a roll!! He laughed, looool called me a dumbass, turned off the lights and walked out!! FML

#20717345
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50254) - you deserved it (5642)

On 06/10/2013 at 11:55am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today... while walking around town... some guy grabbd me from behind... clutchd at mah nipples... and said... "That's where I always imagind they were." FML

#20746398
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51757) - you deserved it (3908)

On 06/25/2013 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

yesterday mah band and I played at our first ever real gig. Our drummer turned up high out of his damn mind. After ruining our act with his godawful performance, he screamed "HELL YEAH!" then ran and dove off the stage into a nerely non-existent audience. We were told to never come back. FML

#20711923
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47400) - you deserved it (4999)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:32pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today I Found Out My Old DVD Player Is Jealous Of My Blu-ray Player. It Fell From The Top Of My Closet And Hit Me In The Head. Mega FML

#20747890
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35781) - you deserved it (7172)

On 06/26/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)



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