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June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my wife made me moist cat food burgers as a prank. I didnt have the heart to tell her that they tasted better than the ones she usually makes. FML

#20742017
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44035) - you deserved it (3573)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:05am - misc - by kittybad - United States

Today, I went to a new bar with friends. After arriving I became extremely gassy; I planned a smooth release during the loud music. Little did I know the bar occasionally dips its music to hear the guests singing. When the music turned off all eyes turned to me. FML

#20731175
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37651) - you deserved it (12851)

On 06/17/2013 at 9:55am - health - by nomwar (woman) - United States

Today, at a family reunion, my visibly drunk grandparents heard about my new boyfriend, who is a cop. My gran asked if he ever made me feel like Rodney King in the bedroom. Then my grandpa, fresh off a DUI, asked if my boyfriend's dick is as bent as the police force. FML

#20727456
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37326) - you deserved it (3431)

On 06/15/2013 at 1:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my sister and I were having a slumber party in my room since my parents left on a trip. They left my grandparents here to watch us. It was past bed time and we started hearing some strange noises through my floor. We thought it was the radio. Turns out my grandma is a screamer. FML

Today, my co-workers figured out that I was in high school when my husband was in kindergarten. They won't stop calling me a "cougar". FML

#20718644
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28085) - you deserved it (43353)

On 06/10/2013 at 11:19pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that my 20-year-old son has been using my bras for his jerk-off sessions. FML

#20701422
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54880) - you deserved it (4439)

On 06/02/2013 at 3:00pm - intimacy - by Kay (woman) - India (Andhra Pradesh)

Today, after years of researching and saving money, I got a pet fox. I was able to enjoy the majesty of the animal for three hours before it burrowed under the fence and ran away. FML

#20717566
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31727) - you deserved it (47118)

On 06/10/2013 at 2:01pm - animals - by SadFoxLady (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, after finally seeing a psychologist about the death of my dad and spending the longest hour of my life confessing every thought I've experienced in the 6 years since his passing, my psychologist asked me if I was walking home or if my dad would be picking me up. FML

#20705144
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74548) - you deserved it (3497)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:35am - health - by irishbubble (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that the same police officer who has arrested me twice has been sleeping with my wife. FML

#20731650
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69901) - you deserved it (6352)

On 06/17/2013 at 3:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, in public, a homeless guy looked me in the eyes and started wanking. FML

#20729997
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45792) - you deserved it (4215)

On 06/16/2013 at 7:27pm - intimacy - by scarredforlife - United States (New York)

Today, I bumped into my parents at the mall. They didn't tell me they were around. I live 5,000 miles away, in a different country from them. FML

#20744316
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55027) - you deserved it (3292)

On 06/24/2013 at 10:16am - misc - by Coolios (man) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, my daughter found out what happens when my husband watches Mythbusters and doesn't heed the disclaimer to "Not try this at home." He feels bad about her cut face, but says he's proud he can throw a playing card that hard. FML

Today, I foolishly thought that I was alone in the house, and let out a huge fart on the toilet. This went on for a while due to an upset stomach. I later walked into the living room only to find my parents and a few of their friends sitting on the couch, teary-eyed from laughing so much. FML



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