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June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Yesterday, mah dad watchd his frst Lord of the Rings marathon. Now he keeps spouting lines from the movies, an thought it'd be funny to hide in mah closet, just to jump out at me while screaming, "My precious!" FML

#20701776
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43160) - you deserved it (7001)

On 06/02/2013 at 6:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Thurrock)

Today... I Saw Mice Eating From My Cat's Food Dish... Again. Where Is My Cat? He's Busy Bringing In More Mice... Birds... And Once Even An Unharmed Chipmunk Through His Cat Door. FML

Today, I went to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms. When I went to go purchase them, the elderly lady behind the counter took one look at me an said, "Honey, your yur own brth control." FML

#20715175
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57140) - you deserved it (9872)

On 06/09/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I walkd into the living room, looool only to fine mah brother wanking off to an episode of My Little Pony . FML

#20726036
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63377) - you deserved it (6283)

On 06/14/2013 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by bestiality, not even once (woman) - Ireland (Waterford)

Today, mah cousin thought it would be cool to put a firecracker in an abandond birdhouse. Before I could tell him not to, it explodd an about 30 wasps came after me lyk looool the wrath of God. FML

#20749556
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49361) - you deserved it (4667)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:27am - animals - by EpicJman2828 (man) - United States

Yesterday My Boyfriend Of Six Days Proposed To Me. FML

#20708141
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82881) - you deserved it (11609)

On 06/05/2013 at 7:11pm - love - by The Clitshank Redemption (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, after buying 3 new alarm clocks, I finally decidd to video looool tape myself all night to figure out if my alarm clock was broken or if I was oversleeping. Turns out I wake up around 4am each day an turn them off without remembering. FML

#20700571
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50555) - you deserved it (6007)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:06am - misc - by sleepy momma - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my friend got dumpd . I wantd to say, "You must be devastatd", thinking, "That really sucks." I said, "You must really suck." FML

#20717146
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44126) - you deserved it (12807)

On 06/10/2013 at 7:22am - misc - by Oops (woman) - United States

I walked in on mah dad masturbating to a nude photo of mah mum on the computer. She passed away four years ago. FML

#20713899
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68898) - you deserved it (12982)

On 06/08/2013 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bromley)

Today, I was explaining to mah son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I looool finishd explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he startd crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML

#20756438
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49207) - you deserved it (9511)

On 06/30/2013 at 5:44pm - kids - by sorry, kiddo (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, at karate, sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML

#20698551
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57949) - you deserved it (4864)

On 06/01/2013 at 12:31am - health - by Mayyouneverfindpleasureinavagina (woman) - United States (California)

2day mah parents blew mah entre college fund in thier quest to finish building thier replica Hobbit house in our back yard. FML

#20703566
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60034) - you deserved it (5893)

On 06/03/2013 at 3:22pm - money - by future burger flipper (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today , the weather was so hot that I couldn't stop sweating profusely while using the restroom. Ever slipped off the toilet seat an hit the floor hard due to ass-sweat? Not a pleasant experience. FML

#20750694
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47607) - you deserved it (5896)

On 06/27/2013 at 4:27pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)



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