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May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was feeling down about being the only single person out of a group of eight friends. Out of desperation, I made up "Jonny", a hot fitness instructor whom I recently hooked up with. Now "Jonny" and I have been invited to a friends' night out. FML

#20659041
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19942) - you deserved it (72187)

On 05/12/2013 at 5:09pm - love - by forever alone - United Kingdom

Today, my landlord emailed me, stating that she hasn't been receiving my rent. After some investigation, I found out she's been using the money to buy booze, and hasn't been putting it into the house owner's account. FML

#20694810
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49044) - you deserved it (2752)

On 05/30/2013 at 4:51am - money - by BrokeAsHell (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke up and went into my living room, only to be greeted by my aunt, sister, and mother watching a very graphic video showing women giving birth. They forced me to stay and watch it until the end. It was almost 90 minutes. FML

#20672345
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42264) - you deserved it (5133)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:30am - misc - by dafuqdidisee (man) - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé and I were planning to move to a cheaper apartment which my mother agreed to rent us. She was very supportive and excited that we'd be closer, and it was great until she gave us a list of books, movies, games, etc. that we can't bring because they're "demonic". FML

Today, while working at Walmart, I was walking the sales floor and passed the end of an aisle. I saw a customer coming at me from the corner of my eye, so I jumped backwards. I hit a display case, and watched it topple over before turning to apologize to the customer. It was a ladder. FML

#20690744
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38646) - you deserved it (9686)

On 05/28/2013 at 3:11am - work - by Olerbia - United States

Today, after a sleepless night, I fell asleep at my work desk. When I awoke, I found my co-workers had duct taped me to my chair. I was yelling at them to untape me, when our boss came in, scolded me for fucking about on the job, and left without saying a word to my colleagues. FML

#20683635
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37383) - you deserved it (12308)

On 05/24/2013 at 12:08pm - work - by anthony512 (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, as usual, my mom got shitfaced and started berating me for something. This time, it was for missing a therapy appointment. Not only am I unable to drive, it was her appointment. For her alcoholism. FML

#20664501
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46054) - you deserved it (2693)

On 05/15/2013 at 2:21am - health - by the only sober one (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while I was out shopping, a fairly hideous-looking woman stormed up to me and accused me of ogling her, saying, "As if I'd ever date you!" Less than a minute later, she'd somehow managed to bully me into falsely admitting to it and apologizing. FML

#20658454
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39510) - you deserved it (14106)

On 05/12/2013 at 12:37pm - misc - by walmart: first time, last time (man) - United States

Today, I finally scored a goal in a soccer game. Too bad it was in our own net. FML

#20681164
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29728) - you deserved it (37318)

On 05/23/2013 at 1:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I stepped out of the kitchen to yell at my kids for running in the house. I had just mopped the floor, and did not want them to fall. I fell while yelling and twisted my ankle. At least they know it's dangerous now. FML

#20667457
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42666) - you deserved it (9323)

On 05/16/2013 at 5:50pm - kids - by meepdaleap - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got into a car crash, in my own garage. FML

#20643761
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22643) - you deserved it (42899)

On 05/05/2013 at 7:51pm - misc - by LilaTheGreat - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML

#20660573
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41564) - you deserved it (7122)

On 05/13/2013 at 10:16am - money - by psychopumpkin - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, the vet sent me an email wishing my kitten a happy 2nd birthday. My cat died last year. FML

#20686886
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48724) - you deserved it (4033)

On 05/26/2013 at 4:33am - animals - by Tiber46 (man) - United States (California)



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