Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I woke up and went into my living room, only to be greeted by my aunt, sister, and mother watching a very graphic video showing women giving birth. They forced me to stay and watch it until the end. It was almost 90 minutes. FML

#20672345
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39725) - you deserved it (4867)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:30am - misc - by dafuqdidisee (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was working at a place where if you're tipped, you sing. After a lady paid for her ice cream, she pulled out 5 dollars. Thinking it was a tip, I took it, and sang the song. She didn't mean to tip me. I was stopped by the woman slapping me. FML

#20690062
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43301) - you deserved it (13982)

On 05/27/2013 at 8:56pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after being told by her therapist to try to make her kids a bigger part of her life because we're so distant from her, my mom's new favorite thing to do is to constantly use the words "YOLO" and "swag" around us. FML

#20691079
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51552) - you deserved it (5352)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend of ten months that I'm not ready for marriage. A few hours later he proposed at my grandma's 85th birthday party. She cried when I said no. FML

#20692547
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52844) - you deserved it (11022)

On 05/29/2013 at 1:28am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure ahead of my cousin's wedding. The woman doing my nails asked if I wanted my toe hairs trimmed. I was so taken aback and embarrassed that I said yes. They charged me extra. FML

#20679773
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36258) - you deserved it (12809)

On 05/22/2013 at 1:40pm - misc - by hobbit - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I finally scored a goal in a soccer game. Too bad it was in our own net. FML

#20681164
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28332) - you deserved it (35723)

On 05/23/2013 at 1:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I cut my bangs. When I asked my boyfriend if he liked it he said, "It's like I'm dating a new girl, this way I won't get bored with you." FML

#20687072
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47421) - you deserved it (7680)

On 05/26/2013 at 10:15am - love - by thenewgirlfriend - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom has gone completely insane and insists we only flush the toilet or wash our hands at the start or end of the day, "to save on bills." My young sister thinks it's the best idea ever. My mom makes our food, and my sister just loves to touch everyone's faces. FML

Today, I found out that me having a boyfriend is an on-going family joke. FML

#20694663
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42854) - you deserved it (3783)

On 05/30/2013 at 1:37am - love - by I'm a joke? -

Today, my boyfriend and I stressed out preparing for our one week holiday. We packed for the whole day, said goodbye to everyone and arrived at the airport quite exhausted after a 45-minute train ride. Turns out our flight isn't until tomorrow. The check-in lady couldn't stop laughing. FML

#20640490
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39501) - you deserved it (14830)

On 05/04/2013 at 6:24am - misc - by Tickettoride (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, as a condominium security guard, I had to enter an old lady's apartment to supervise the mandatory maintenance taking place inside. I commented on the lakeside view from her window and mentioned, "This is a pretty nice view up here isn't it?" It turns out that she's blind. FML

#20642213
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49637) - you deserved it (6746)

On 05/05/2013 at 12:28am - work - by rent-a-cop (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I gave a big presentation to my class. It included PowerPoint slides and video clips of the country I'd been researching. Another student did a presentation on the same country, except he just read from its Wikipedia page. He practically got a standing ovation. I got a single clap. FML

#20638884
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44466) - you deserved it (3440)

On 05/03/2013 at 12:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I confronted my boss to find out why I was denied a promotion that she promised to me. Her response? "You should know by now I'm a liar. Not my fault if you believe the things I say." FML

#20680205
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36708) - you deserved it (3347)

On 05/22/2013 at 5:48pm - work - by Snurkles McGee (man) - Canada (Alberta)



FML's blog

  • Essa's illustrated FML
  • Yesterday was labor day in the US. FML is international, and and specifically US-centric, but we still sat around doing nothing because we'll take any excuse to do anything. We'll endorse any national…

Friday 1 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: